Wake Up Where The Clouds Are Far Behind Me
by iluvtodance
Summary: What if Maya found Cam first in Bittersweet Symphony 2? Alternate Scenario. Deals with a serious and sensitive topic, so please use caution when reading. Cam and Maya pairing.
1. Cloudy Skies

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or the song "Over the Rainbow."

_It's over. I'm sorry. _The shocked and saddened girl gripped the phone tighter as she read the message. "What?" Maya whispered to herself, trying frantically to figure out what Cam could mean by this text. Just yesterday they had spent an amazing day simply enjoying each other's company—laughing, watching movies, holding hands, and just being happy. It was a blissful, rare moment for them. Breakdowns, fighting, jealousy, betrayal, despair—all of it had plagued them since day one of meeting each other. Maya knew her boyfriend. Underneath his innocent, sweet charm lay a very despondent, desperate, and _lost _person. She had realized this the day he broke his arm from _accidentally_ falling over the balcony hanging above the school's main hallway. Maya knew right away that it was no accident, since Cam had been complaining about the pressure hockey puts on him incessantly for weeks before the incident. He doesn't realize how closely she watches him, noticing both the subtle and severe mood changes. Her heart ached as she thought of the sadness that frequently consumed his brown eyes. Cam thought she didn't notice, but she does. All of the time.

Breathing deeply, she closed her phone while quickly thinking of where he could be. He had to be at school, but the question was where. The image of Degrassi's greenhouse popped into her mind, filling her with certainty about the exact location of that "where" and inspiring her to bolt from her spot on the steps. The greenhouse has been a sanctuary for them ever since Maya noticed how Cam's eyes lit up as he examined the different types of plants and flowers growing there. The afternoon Maya suggested they should visit her sister and Jake's successful project became one of the best times they spent together. Just the two of them, confiding in each other with the comfort of knowing they were far from the dreadful reality of school—a place that taunted Cam with the pressure of his hockey scholarship, the stares of his jealous teammates who wished they could be the one recruited to the NHL, and the simple reminder that he wasn't home and with his family. Once Maya observed how the burden of pain temporarily disappeared from Campbell's disposition, she committed herself to making sure that Cam felt peace from his distraught thoughts at every moment possible. Which is how the two teens made a habit of visiting the greenhouse everyday after lunch. The small smile gracing Cam's face as he engaged in a thoughtful conversation with her while eagerly inspecting the plants brought the warmest feeling to Maya's heart. A feeling she never wanted to go away.

The panting blonde allowed her mind to wander to those good moments in a desperate attempt to ward off the distress she felt as she jogged hurriedly towards the garden. Quickly passing an affectionate Clare and Eli bantering back and forth, Maya muttered a quick hello as she struggled to quicken her pace. When she finally approached the greenhouse, she paused briefly in order to catch her breath. She did so grudgingly in fear of wasting time, but once she focused her full attention onto the familiar spot of the greenhouse, she quickly realized regaining her strength was necessary for what she was about to witness.

Muffled sobs resounded through the greenhouse as a frantic Campbell stood upon a number of stacked crates, fumbling with a thick garden hose. Maya barely took the scene in before she broke out into a desperate, despairing scream, "Cam. Oh my God. Please, Cam!" She covered her mouth with trembling arms, allowing tears to blur her vision. She discovered, to her horror, a pair of blood stained garden shears lying next to the crate, and an inconsolable Cam tying a garden rope to a piece of the greenhouse roof's structure. A second, more violently loud scream escaped from her lips once she realized that he was trying to form a noose with the gardening tool.

Maya's scream broke Cam's disheveled thoughts and interrupted the disturbing adrenaline rush inciting him to end his life. He turned around abruptly, shock clearly evident on his face. "Maya," he muttered hoarsely. For a moment, he forgot about the visceral despair plaguing him, and appreciated the presence of the girl in front of him. Suddenly, the taunting sound of Zig's voice flashed through his mind, _"Psycho." _His misery returned with full force, prompting him to pull his hands away from the rope in order to tug violently on his hair. "I'm not good. I'm not good enough." He forced the words out through his heaving sobs. Clutching his chest. Cam felt the familiar feeling of a panic attack coming on. He struggled to breathe, suddenly feeling extremely weak. He collapsed upon the crate with the finished noose hanging over him. He heard footsteps approaching him, assuming it could only be Maya, and raised his voice in warning, "Don't come near me. I'm…I don't know what I can do. I hate…" His babbling stopped as an onslaught of tears cascaded down his face, causing him to cough weakly. He fell to his knees and laid huddled on the floor, allowing loud whimpers to escape his lips.

Maya, crying even harder, mirrored Cam's actions and fell onto her knees in defeat only a few steps away from he sat. She obeyed his pleas and remained rooted to her spot, continuing to sob uncontrollably. "Oh my…no." She begged to herself. The idea of what Cam was about to do made her feel sick. Despite her own feelings of horror, she tried to stifle her sobs so that she couldn't upset Cam any further. Gulping heavily, Maya spoke softly, "Campbell. Shh." She soothed, "Listen to me, okay? Listen to my voice." She spoke as calmly as her tears would allow and gazed at the hunched form of Cam, afraid that if she looked away he would continue his suicide attempt. The sobbing boy clutched his hair tighter at the sound of her voice as he rocked back and forth desperately; the blood from his self inflicted cuts trickled down his arm slowly. Maya gratefully noticed that the cuts were at a safe enough distance from his wrists, but a wave of nausea overcame her when an evil reminder filled her mind. _He was going to hang himself. He was going to kill himself…_ Maya stifled another sob and tried to focus on what was in front of her—Cam, who was distressed, but still very much alive. And for that Maya was immensely grateful.

"Cam," she spoke, "It's going to be alright. Okay? I promise, I'm going to help you." She reached out to touch him, the charms of her bracelet jingling softly, but she slowly withdrew her hand away, afraid to startle him.

Cam continued to cry, releasing strained, ragged breaths. He didn't respond.

Maya inwardly panicked when she noticed how strangled Cam's breathing became with each passing second. Unable to bear seeing her boyfriend in so much pain, Maya did the first thing that entered her mind.

The soft, comforting sound of a gentle voice grabbed Cam's attention, causing his labored breathing to slow in pace. The familiar melody of his favorite song settled upon his ears, strangely providing a faint moment of comfort. His cries became softer as he strained to listen.

_Someday I'll wish upon a star _

_And wake up where the clouds are far behind me_

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops_

_Away above the chimney tops._

_That's where you'll find me._

She inched closer to his still cowering body, and attempted once more to touch him. Her fingers brushed the tips of his cinnamon brunette locks, continuing to sing.

_Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly_

_Birds fly over the rainbow_

_Why then, oh why can't I?_

_If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow_

_Why, oh why can't I?_

Her fingers were now threaded through his hair, stroking gingerly. She noticed his breaths have slowed down to a steadier pace, but his body still trembled. Maya took advantage of this slightly peaceful moment to pull out her cell phone and send a quick text to Katie, Tori, Tristan, and Zig. She didn't care if she was on bad terms with most of them—she had to make sure that official help arrived for Cam soon. As much as she wants to fix everything herself, the damage is beyond her comprehension and control. Turning her attention to the broken boy in front of her, fresh tears trickled down her face. She thought about what to say next, but only one thing came to mind. Surprisingly, she didn't hesitate—"I love you. I'm always here," she promised. She allowed silence to surround them, simply concentrating on tenderly brushing her fingers through his hair.

Cam stilled for a moment, taking a deep breath. Tears continued to fall from his eyes as he lifted his head slowly, shifted closer to Maya, and placed his head on her lap. The last thing she heard before Mr. Simpson, the paramedics, and police arrived was a barely audible "I love you" from the defeated boy.

A/N: I really wanted to write about an alternative scenario where Cam was found before he took his own life, because I wasn't ready to let him go yet! It was incredibly sad to watch his storyline end in suicide. However, thinking back to the beginning of his introduction, I always noticed how his natural demeanor seemed incredibly sad. If the writers really did plan his end from the beginning, then they as well as the actor did a great job with the portrayal of an individual struggling with (it seems like) anxiety/depression. I might make this a multiple chapter story, but I am notorious for not finishing them. If I do continue with it, I will try my hardest to update as soon as I can. Thanks for reading! Stay safe and well!


	2. Waiting in the Rain

The white washed walls of the hospital made Maya feel dizzy. The bleakness of the waiting room, filled with the large crowd of sick people didn't help her completely crushed heart either. She glanced at the simple black clock hanging on the opposite wall and hugged Hoot closer to her when she noticed that barely a half an hour had passed. The moment when official help arrived at the greenhouse was pure chaos, but she could clearly remember the frightened look embedded in Cam's brown eyes as he was forcefully strapped to the gurney with his arms completely bound to his sides, preventing another attempt to hurt himself. After all, he was on official suicide watch. Tears continuing to flow down her face, Maya had begged Mr. Simpson to be allowed to ride with Cam in the ambulance. With a lot of convincing, Mr. Simpson agreed, but he made sure to call Cam's parents—both real and host—once Cam was whisked away to the hospital. To Maya's relief, her sister had rushed to the greenhouse as soon as she received her text, making sure to pick up the abandoned stuffed animal sitting on the steps before she arrived at the horrific scene. Maya now clutched onto the owl for comfort, luck…anything that would help her survive this agonizing day.

She scanned the room to look at the familiar faces scattered throughout—Mike Dallas pacing back and forth, his eyes red from crying; Tori and Tristan sitting in the corner clutching each other for dear life; a worried Mr. Simpson speaking quietly to a nurse at the front desk; and Katie who sat beside her, absentmindedly patting Maya's arm while her blank gaze focused on the dull, white hospital floor. The only people missing were Cam's parents. Her heart ached as she thought of Cam's mother, the sweetest woman alive, who had made Maya feel so comfortable and welcome when she met her during one of Cam's weekly Skype sessions with her. The older beautiful, brunette woman smiled the entire time she talked with Maya, asking her tons of questions and listening intently as Maya shyly talked about her family and the cello.

The image of Mrs. Saunders finding out the news disturbed her deeply, causing a wave of nausea to hit her. She bolted out of her seat, ignoring Katie calling her name, and ran into the nearest bathroom. Quickly locking the door behind her, Maya collapsed on the ground before a tumult of dry sobs escaped her quivering lips. She placed her hands on top of her chest, struggling to regain her breathe through the sobbing, but it was pointless—she couldn't stop. That's what Katie heard once she entered the bathroom. The short, desperate breaths of her sister from behind a closed stall.

"Maya," called Katie worriedly. She knocked on the door, "Please Maya, let me in!" She stifled her own cries so Maya couldn't hear her; she wanted to remain strong for her little sister. "Maya," she begged. A minute passed before Katie heard the clicking of a shifting lock. Her sister, head bowed solemnly, shuffled out. Katie immediately enveloped Maya into a hug, feeling her sister cry even harder into her shoulder. "Katie…I can't…it hurts…"she wailed louder unable to form any more words. Stroking her back, Katie whispered comforting words into her ear.

"It's okay, I'm here. Breathe Maya, please." She hugged tighter, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief when she felt Maya's tremors slow down. Allowing Maya some time to calm down, Katie waited patiently for her. She pulled away slightly to look into her distressed eyes. "Keep breathing for me, okay?" Reaching out in front of her, she ripped a piece of paper towel from a dispenser and began to dap her sister's eyes gently.

"Let's go out there, okay? The doctor should be coming out anytime now." When she noticed a faint nod from her little sister, Katie wrapped her arm around her waist and led her out of the bathroom.

Once the girls entered the waiting room, they saw all of the Degrassi visitors huddling around a doctor. Maya took off her glasses to wipe her eyes. She felt the grasp on her waist disappear for a second. Katie quickly returned to Maya's side, placing Hoot in her hands. Maya hugged him gratefully as she allowed Katie to lead her to the group, everyone parting to allow Maya inside. Maya briefly met Tristan and Tori's eyes, feeling relieved when she saw her two best friends smile gently at her. She really needed them right now.

The tall, female doctor peered at her over her own glasses. She smiled at her, "Maya, I presume?"

Maya nodded in response, preparing herself for whatever the doctor will say.

The friendly doctor spoke, "Cam is currently under an emergency 24 hour suicide watch. During this time, we assume the patient is an extreme danger to him or herself, so we provide around the clock observation." She scanned the nervous crowd, "Cam has been put into an induced state of rest. This means that we gave him a dose of a very strong medication that can act as a sleep aid." Upon seeing the panicked expressions of the crowd, she explained further. "Cam was hysterical once he was brought into the psych ward. Unfortunately, when patients are in such a distressed state we must calm them down with medication. This will only be within the first 24 hours of his stay until he is examined by a psychiatrist." Her eyes fell on the distraught blonde holding a small stuffed owl in her trembling hands. "He is not allowed visitors for this period of time, but family is allowed to visit during regular visiting hours after he is checked by the doctor."

Maya surprised the doctor by speaking softly, "I'm not family." She lowered her eyes in disappointment. It would be a long time before she could see him.

The doctor replied to the sad girl, "Our hospital policy is very catered to the needs of our patients, and we recognize that any loved one is beneficial for providing healing and comfort during the stressful stay at the hospital." She paused for a moment to gesture toward Mr. Simpson, "Your principal provided me with the contact information of Cam's family, and I have received special permission from his mother. She confirmed that you can see him before she arrives." She looked at the other teenagers in the crowd, "All friends of Cam can see him if he gives the okay." This comment was met with a sigh of relief from Dallas.

"So, " Katie clarified, "After the precautionary 24 hour period, visits are alright?"

The doctor affirmed Katie's question, "Yes, as long as visits are made sparingly within a reasonable time frame. We don't want to overwhelm him during this fragile period." The doctor finished, offering a comforting smile to the relieved faces surrounding her. "Any more questions?"

An idea popped into Maya's head, prompting her to speak. "Can someone put this in his room?" She stretched her arms, displaying Hoot, "I want this to be there when he wakes up." She finished timidly, hoping that the doctor says yes.

"Of course," replied the doctor. "It will be good for him to see something familiar when he wakes up." She stretched out her hand, "May I?"

Maya nodded, giving Hoot a quick squeeze before she placed him in the doctor's hands.

"Thank you," said the doctor. She waved her arm, signaling a friendly nurse over. "Patty, can you please place this on the bedside table in Campbell Saunders' room?" She placed the owl in the nurse's hands and turned her attention to the group once again. "We will take it from here, but visiting hours are listed at the front desk if you want to check before you leave. Take care." She smiled in farewell and left the group to focus on the next patient on her list.

Maya stood there, feeling almost calm after the doctor's words. She just needed to see him.

A/N: Trust me, it is not normal for me to update this quickly, but I have spring break so I have some time to spend on it. I am definitely continuing, and I will try my hardest to make sure it's a fairly long one! Thank you to everyone who reviewed and subscribed to the story! :D


	3. Downpour

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Sadly!

Maya sighed as she surveyed her locker. She had been trying really hard to focus on school, but visions of Cam dominated her mind. Her grip on the locker door tightened as she thought about not seeing him for two days. Even though the doctor gave the okay to visit Cam after the emergency 24-hour period, Katie convinced Maya to wait at least an extra day to let Cam adjust to his stay in the hospital. With the therapy sessions, psychiatric evaluations, and strict rules, Cam really needed to make a huge adjustment, especially considering the fact that two days ago he planned not being here at all. Maya shut her eyes as a wave of raw despair engulfed her mind and heart—she couldn't forget the memory of finding Cam in the greenhouse no matter how hard she tried shaking it out of her. Wanting nothing more than to erase the memory from her mind, Maya forced her eyes to open and tried to train her mind to think of something else.

Her thoughts now drifted to the surprise visit she received from Cam's family the other day. His mom, dad, and older brother had booked a flight to Toronto the moment they received a call from Mr. Simpson. Seeing the Saunders family on her front porch was a surprise but a welcomed one. She thought of how happy Cam would be to finally see the family he had been missing since departing for Toronto. Their presence in this moment would be a lifesaver for him—his suicide attempt was in no doubt a threatening burden in his worn mind, and it was too soon to tell if he would ever try again. He probably will. The disturbing thought propelled her back to the moment of meeting his family in person for the first time.

_The faces of each Saunders held a different emotion, but all fell in the category of miserable. His father, a moderately tall man with dark brown hair speckled with traces of gray, barely managed a shaky smile when he first greeted Maya. His eyes graced the floor the entire time as if an answer to his current nightmare lay there. The man couldn't help but feel immense guilt; he had been the one pushing Cam to seek NHL glory, constantly reminding his youngest son that hockey was his life, and he needed to dedicate his entire being to the sport if he ever wanted to amount to anything. Words that had once been spoken enthusiastically by Gale seemed so destructive now; he was ashamed. _

_Cam's older brother Nate, the spitting image of Cam himself with his light brown hair and sweet smile, gave Maya a big hug when he had the had the chance to officially greet her. Caught off guard by the action, Maya could only smile in return. However, her smile faded the moment she heard Nate speaking to her, "Thank you for saving my brother's life." His weak smile faltered when he finished, immediately being replaced by a solemn expression. Maya fought against the tears flooding her eyes, managing to merely nod in response. The idea of not finding Cam in time was terrifying enough to hinder her ability to breathe; she had to block the thought out of her head before she had another panic attack. _

_Lastly, Cam's mother approached her. Despite the dark circles underneath her eyes that screamed no sleep, her defeated posture, and her fatigued expression, Leigh still embraced Maya lovingly and reassured the tiny blonde that, "Everything will be alright." The older woman's soft sniffle betrayed her struggling optimism, but she was able to keep her tears to herself for the time being. "We just came back from the hospital." _

_Maya's ears perked at her words and responded almost too excitedly, "How is he?" _

_Leigh's heart broke a little more when she saw the desperation that covered the girl's face. This paired with her son's misery was almost too much for the strong woman to handle. She cleared her throat, trying to maintain a steady tone. "He is okay. I found him holding a cute little owl, "she paused as a smile graced her face, "He was concentrating on the little guy; he seemed calm." Cam's mother smiled even further when she noticed the ghost of a small smile appear on Maya's face. "You should go see him. I know he's eager to see you."_

_Maya's smile disappeared as she bit the corner of her lip in frustration. "He didn't say anything about being disappointed that I haven't visited him yet?" Her voice rose nervously, "My sister told me it was a good idea to give him another day or two to adjust. Plus, I wanted you all to get to see him first."_

_The members of Cam's family looked at Maya with gratitude. Leigh spoke on behalf of all of them, "We really appreciate that sweetie. But, I definitely think you should visit Cam as soon as you can. He will love it." She patted Maya's shoulder. "There are visiting hours for people other than family from three to 5 o'clock tomorrow." _

_Maya managed to form small smile_, "_Tomorrow." She promised, "I'll be there."_

Returning from the flashback, Maya reached out to adjust the small, square vase filled with sunflowers and a couple of the pink roses Cam had gotten her as an apology. Maya had gone to the florist shortly after Cam's family left her house and bought the vase along with a couple of sunflowers—Cam's favorite—to create a simple arrangement. She wanted to create the arrangement herself rather than just buy one already made; it made it more personal. After inspecting the flowers, she moved her hand to rest upon her right wrist, which was adorned by a handmade, braided bracelet. The intricately threaded blue and green bracelet was another gift for Cam. She made it in hopes of cheering him up and giving him another reminder of her to carry with him as he stays in the hospital. She sighed, hoping that everything would cheer him up. She was about to close her locker door when a familiar voice called her name.

"Maya!" Shouted Zig as he jogged down the hallway.

Maya turned around in response and waved half heartedly, "Hey Zig." She frowned once she noticed his agitation. "Everything okay?"

Zig stopped in order to catch his breath, dreading the conversation already. "I haven't seen you since…" he scratched his head in discomfort, "Well, you know."

Maya bit her lip. "Yeah." She replied grudgingly. "I didn't see you at the hospital." She concentrated her gaze on the floor, "I know you and Cam aren't close, but I figured under the circumstances." Her voice faltered, unable to finish the sentence.

Zig stared at Maya uncertainly, debating as to how he was going to tell her. He took a deep breath, desperate to get it over with. "I said something to Cam that day." He gulped nervously when Maya's light brown eyes met his.

"What did you say?" She continued to stare at him, waiting for his answer.

Zig ran a hand through his hair, "I was so mad after he hit me, and you taking him back…" His voice faltered, his eyes gazing into hers almost longingly.

Maya ignored the intensity of Zig's stare, choosing only to focus on her detained, distraught boyfriend sitting alone in a hospital room. The image impelled her anger, "What did you say to him?"

Despite feeling guilty over Cam's suicide attempt, Zig couldn't help but feel jealousy creep into his mind. Jaw clenched, Zig answered, "I called him a psycho." He gestured to his black eye, "I think that's pretty self explanatory."

Maya literally saw red when she heard Zig's answer. Feeling a surge of adrenaline rush through her, she slammed her locker shut and stepped closer to him. "You did what?" She asked menacingly. She felt disgust for her friend. "How could you, Zig? He's sick!" She ran both hands through her hair, tugging at the curly, blonde strands violently. She muttered to herself, "No. No, why?"

Zig remained frozen, afraid to spark more of a reaction from the livid girl. He had never seen Maya this angry. "I don't know what to say," he mumbled. "I had no idea he would do that."

Maya scoffed, "Well. He did. He tried." The grip on her head tightened as she squealed in frustration, drawing the attention of the Degrassi students lingering in the hallway.

Cautiously taking a step closer, Zig pleaded with her. "Maya, I was angry. I know it's not an excuse, but…" he stopped once Maya's hand shot out in front of her, warning him to stop talking. She released a shaky breath as she whipped her locker door open, grabbing the flowers as carefully as possible despite her anger. She closed it violently once more, the sound of the slam resounding through the halls. Now everyone was officially staring at them.

"I need to go see my boyfriend." Not wanting to hear or care about Zig's response, Maya walked away without giving him a second glance. She wanted to see Cam now more than ever.

The boy on Maya's mind lay still upon the uncomfortable hospital bed. His eyes had not left the ceiling all day, since his family left for a couple of hours. Every nurse who had tried to coax him out of his trance gave up due to his stubbornness. He didn't care if they thought he lost his mind, which he did. In all honesty, Cam felt nothing at all. His apathy definitely had something to do with the heavy dose of medication the psychiatrist prescribed to keep him calm, but he also knew it came from a natural place. His depression had finally worn him down, suffocating his mind to the point where he couldn't think coherently. He just felt pain, emptiness, and hopelessness. His eyes fluttered closed, feeling a wave of exhaustion overcome him. His grip on Hoot loosened as he fell into a peaceful sleep—the only form of temporary relief he had from his bleak reality.

A timid Maya peeked her head through the slightly open door, pausing to glance back at a nurse who nodded at her encouragingly. With the nurse's gesture, she opened the door completely to step inside, slowly closing it behind her. Her heartbeat quickened, like it always did when she saw Cam. Despite wanting to throw her arms around him and never let go, Maya respected the fact that he was resting. Instead, she decided to calmly tip toe across the room. Bending down to place the flowers on his bedside table, she smiled genuinely as she saw how Cam hugged Hoot in his sleep. It was adorable. Her smiled faltered; however, when she noticed the bandages wrapped around his arms. The image of the abandoned garden shears and Cam's bleeding arms assaulted her mind, causing tears to fill her eyes.

She doesn't wipe them away as they fall, choosing instead to brush the bangs covering Cam's eyes to the side and pressing her lips softly against his forehead. She mumbled, "love you" as she pulled away, turning to grab a chair from the corner of the room. When she turned back around, a pair of dark brown eyes were gazing into hers. Her heart stopped, "Cam." She stood in her place, not sure how Cam was going to react.

Cam blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn't dreaming. When he realized the image of his girlfriend was not disappearing, he lifted his hand weakly in her direction. Maya didn't hesitate as she gently grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers through his.

"Cam," she whispered, sitting on the hard, plastic chair. The two teenagers fell into silence, both refusing to look away from each other's eyes.

Opening his mouth to say something, Cam frowned when his mind went blank. He didn't know what to say to her. Sitting in front of him was the only lifeline that kept him alive for this long. Seeing her tears silenced him and left an overbearing feeling of disgust that he directed at himself; he caused all of her pain. The guilty boy closed his eyes just in time for his tears to spill down his face. He kept them closed as he cried silently.

Panicking, Maya stood up to bring her face closer to Cam's. Gently brushing away his tears, she pleaded with him. "Cam, please. What's wrong?" She placed her hand on his face, stroking it soothingly. "Don't cry. It's making Hoot sad." She forced a weak laugh at her lame attempt at a joke. She noted sadly that he kept crying. Removing her hand from his tear stricken face, Maya picked up Hoot and placed him against Cam's cheek. "See, Hoot just gave you a kiss to make you feel better." She smiled down at the crying boy, but the smile didn't last as Cam continued to cry. Defeated, she placed Hoot next to him. She couldn't resist moving in a little closer, placing her forehead against his. "I'm here, Cam. Don't forget that." Maya pulled her face away to sit down, but Cam's hand stopped her.

Feeling a mix of overwhelming love and guilt towards the girl, Cam impulsively lifted the hand that wasn't linked in Maya's and grasped the back of her head. Before Maya could process what was happening, Cam's lips crashed against hers. Closing her eyes at the contact, Maya returned the kiss despite its force. She felt Cam's desperation through the action, but her mind turned to mush as soon as his lips touched hers, as always. She sighed against his lips, allowing him to press his lips even harder against her own. Needing to take a breath, Maya pulled away but froze when she heard Cam's breathless voice, "Don't leave me."

Maya frowned, feeling her heart break as she looked into his doleful eyes, which resembled that of an adorable, sad puppy. The look on its own convinced Maya to initiate the kiss this time, pressing her lips against his in an effort to convince him of her feelings. Cam's grip on her head tightened, trying to deepen the kiss, but to his disappointment, Maya pulled away again. "I'm never going anywhere," she whispered confidently, her lips lightly brushing against his swollen ones. "Okay?" She nuzzled her nose against his before placing a gentle kiss near the corner of his mouth.

Cam's released a strained breath, while his hand fell limply on the bed. He never broke eye contact with Maya, "I'm so messed up." His voice cracked as a few stray tears trickled down his face.

A sharp pain tore through Maya's heart. She fell silent, knowing that there was nothing that she could say to make him feel better. His suicide attempt lay between them, creating a stifling distance. Neither knew how to explain their feelings. Maya simply reassured him, "You're one of the greatest people I know." She unlinked her hand from his for a moment, so that she could remove the bracelet she made for him. Without an explanation, she tied it around his bandaged wrist.

Cam's lips twitched into a smile at her words. He admired the bracelet. "You made this for me?"

Maya nodded, running a finger down his cheek.

Cam glanced at the colorful arrangement of flowers sitting by his side, "And those. You got my favorite." He maintained the small smile for a moment longer, recognizing the pink roses popping up between the sunflowers. For a brief instant, he felt the burden of his sorrow lift from his heart. Tears filled his eyes again, only this time in gratitude for the girl in front of him. "Thank you," he stated sincerely. Eyes never leaving the flowers, he reached for Maya's hand, leaving a kiss on her open palm. After the kiss, he gripped her hand tightly, afraid to let go.

With her hand clasped in his, Maya bent down once more to settle her lips onto his, conveying a promise. She wouldn't leave him.

A/N: Finally some cuteness! I really don't know what has gotten into me-I have been so motivated to write! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, subscribed, or just read so far. I appreciate it. I can't promise that updates will be this quick all of the time, but they will happen! :)


	4. Thunderstorm

_The Phantom of the Opera is there inside your mind. _Tristan belts the lyric and then proceeds to hold an impressive note for a what seems like an hour, instantly garnering stares from the other students crowding the cafeteria. Maya giggled when Tori hit him on the shoulder, interrupting his solo.

"Seriously, Tristan?" Tori asked. "The note is not that long." She shakes her head at him, snickering to herself as Tristan glared at her.

Maya laughed. "It was a great note, Tristan." She smiled at him, internally grateful for both of her friends' ability to put her in a good mood. She hadn't laughed this genuinely since before the incident.

Tristan instantly perked up at Maya's words, straightening his posture and puffing his chest out proudly, "I know it was." He declared. Tori just rolled her eyes.

"So, Maya." She began, turning to her other best friend, "Do you think Cam will like our duet?"

Still giggling at Tristan, Maya racked her brain for the right words to that question. She thought Tori and Tristan performing a song for Cam when they all visited him this afternoon was a great idea, but she wasn't quite sure if Phantom would be appropriate. She thinks that he's had enough of angsty despair for a while. "Well," Maya suggested, "I'm not sure if Phantom is the best choice considering Cam has had a lot of darkness surrounding him these past couple of days." _Months,_ she thought bitterly, "What about something a little lighter? Like with jazz hands?" She finished her proposal with a smile and a mini demonstration of the musical theater gesture, prompting a burst of laughter from the performing duo.

Tristan agreed, "You are so right Maya. We need to cheer him up." He fell into a moment of silence, eyebrows scrunching in deep thought. His eyes widened, "High School Musical!" He and Tori turned toward each other simultaneously, grinning at the brilliant idea. The twosome clapped their hands in excitement, beginning to discuss who would sing what notes of "Breaking Free. Maya chose to remain quiet about the choice, her thoughts lingering to Cam's reaction. One of his deepest, darkest secrets, that he had made her promise to never tell anyone, was his love for _High School Musical_. It would be priceless and just the thing that would cheer him up. Breaking out of her thoughts, she tuned into Tori and Tristan's conversation about notes, melodies, and harmonies, barely noticing an Ice Hound jersey clad boy walking up to the table.

The intruder leaned over the table, staring at Maya with a dangerous glint in his eyes. He grinned when she finally noticed him. "Hey, Cam's puck bunny. How's the superstar doing?"

The familiar, unwelcome voice made Maya shudder, but her annoyance at the word "puck bunny" overshadowed her apprehensive feelings toward the boy. "I'm not his puck bunny," retorted Maya, "I'm his girlfriend. I care more about Cam then you ever will, Trent."

The boy, Trent, gasped mockingly, "Ouch. But, you know what? You're right. Personally, I'm incredibly pissed because superstar has cost us at least one game." He leaned in a little further, dangerously close to Maya's face, "The coach thinks that it wouldn't be right to play in the upcoming game out of respect for Cam." He chuckled, sarcasm dripping in his voice, "God forbid the superstar is disrespected. He's the entire team, anyway."

Maya rolled her eyes, creating distance between the two of them. Before she could respond in Cam's defense, a loud scoff interrupted her effort and caught both her and Trent's attention.

Tristan threw a scathing look towards the rude boy and snapped, "Green doesn't suit you, Trent. It's not Cam's fault that he has the talent to play hockey professionally, whereas you…well." His voice trailed off purposely. He brushed his hand against his shoulder and inspected his nails, giving the impression of total disinterest in the conversation.

Trent faced him, a threat already on the edge of his tongue. "Watch your mouth, f—" A forceful slap on his shoulder stopped him from finishing the insult. A livid Owen tightened his grasp, "What was that, Easton?"

An angry Dallas appeared on the other side of Trent, quickly glancing at the three sophomores. "What's going on here, Trent?" He glared at his least favorite teammate, "Bothering Cam's friends?"

Trent opened his mouth to respond to Dallas, but the pain of Owen's grip forced him to remain quiet. Owen pressed the question through clenched teeth, "What were you going to say to my little brother, Easton?"

Staring at his brother with both concern and gratitude, Tristan watched the confrontation in growing fear that his brother was going to explode. "Owen," he pleaded, "It's okay. Just make him go away and stop bothering us, please." He made eye contact with a nervous Maya. Tori remained silent.

Owen's eyes softened for a moment before nodding at his brother, "Gladly." Turning to Trent, his expression returned to its original threatening one. "Let's go, Easton. Extra ice drills during practice." He tugged him backwards, leading the two of them in the direction of the table occupied by the team. Having no choice but to follow, Trent made sure to lock eyes with Maya once more. His eyes never left her until Owen forced him to turn around completely.

Maya tore her eyes away from Trent's unsettling gaze, choosing instead to focus on her half eaten lunch. The pounding of her racing heart reverberated through her ears as a sign of her growing anxiety. Trent Easton had always been the most unpleasant person on the team, but he had never violated any of Maya's personal boundaries. Today he did. She clasped her trembling hands, hidden underneath the lunch table, into a tight grip that forced all of the blood out of her hands.

The remaining Ice Hound stood in a stony silence, his eyes fixed on the table. Clearing his throat to hide any evidence of being upset, he looked at the three teenagers. When he spoke up, remorse and sorrow laced his voice, "I'm sorry about Trent. He always gets out of line. Not like Cam." He mumbled the last sentence under his breath, but Maya heard. "Anyway," he continued, changing the subject, "How's the rookie doing?"

Maya noted the affectionate way Dallas spoke Cam's nickname, unlike Trent who makes his nickname for Cam sound ugly. She offered the captain a small smile, "He's doing okay. As best as he could be right now."

The entire table fell into an uncomfortable silence, each one thinking about the severity of Cam's issues.

Not wanting to dwell on the fragility of Cam's mental state, Maya spoke again. "You should visit Cam. He would love to see you." Her voice held sincerity; she knew how much Cam looks up to Dallas.

Her comment brought a small smile to the captain's face. He looked at Maya sheepishly, "I wanted to see him as soon as he was cleared for visiting hours, but I'm afraid of what I might see." He frowned at his admission, "I'm the team captain. I should have looked after him." At this point, Dallas wasn't addressing the three worried sophomores; he was conversing with himself, vocalizing the guilt that's been torturing him for days. "Stupid hockey," Mike cursed, "I put too much pressure on him."

"Don't blame yourself," comforted Maya. "It's more than just hockey."

Dallas closed his eyes, mentally reminding himself that he did know Cam's problems went beyond hockey. He just didn't want to accept the possibility of Cam's sadness being unfixable. "Tomorrow," he exclaimed, "Just me." He reassured Maya, "I'll keep most of team away from him right now."

She sighed in relief. Meaning Trent would stay far away. "Thanks, Dallas."

He nodded in her direction, "Take it easy, guys." He left their table to head back to the loud, crowded one of his team's.

Maya, Tristan, and Tori exchanged concerned looks with one another. All hoped that drama with the team would stay as far away as possible from Cam right now.

oooooooooooooooooo

Maya gestured at Tristan and Tori to be quiet as she opened the door, wanting to make sure that her friends were hidden from Cam's sight so that they could surprise him. Poking her head through the door, she saw Cam propped up against a bunch of fluffy pillows watching _Spongebob_. She smiled at him affectionately before calling his name, "Cam."

Cam turned once he heard Maya's voice, "Hey," he replied, his face breaking into a boyish, lop-sided grin. Before he had the chance to speak again, Maya stepped into the room and motioned dramatically towards the door. "I have a surprise for you," she sung with a bright smile. Cam frowned in confusion until he saw Tristan and Tori waltz into the room as if they were on stage. He laughed, feeling genuinely happy to see his friends. "Hey, guys" he greeted, quickly turning the TV off.

Tristan was the first one to approach him. The boys greeted each other with their signature move, bumping fists, and smiled at one another. "It's good to see you Cam," stated Tristan meaningfully. Sneaking around Tristan, Tori leaned forward to give Cam a small hug, "How are you feeling?" She inquired carefully. The question was a simple one, but in his case too complicated.

Cam smiled at the two of them, a lie already leaving his mouth. "I'm doing alright." His mouth twitched slightly, but he recovered from the emotionally vulnerable moment quickly by forcing a laugh to leave his lips. "Did you guys come to sing to me or something?"

Maya stifled a giggle when she saw the mischievous looks Tristan and Tori shared.

Cam understood, "Oh." He raised his eyebrows, "I'm totally psychic." He grinned, glancing at Maya. "I think I need my beautiful girlfriend to watch the epic performance next to me though," he teased the blushing girl and gestured for her to come closer.

Her heart fluttered as she approached him; immediately lifting her hand to run a finger across his bangs when she stood next to him. "Of course," she cooed, pecking the top of his head. He slid his arm around her waist, pulling her closer until she sat on the edge of the hospital bed with her arm around his shoulder. "Okay," He nods at his two friends, "I'm ready."

Maya and Cam looked on happily as their friends belted out the most theatrical version of "Breaking Free" ever performed. They hit the last note—Tristan holding his longer than Tori's, which prompted the girl to glare at him. Both Maya and Cam laughed at the pair and then proceeded to shower them with applause and cheers. Tori and Tristan bowed, both beaming at Cam.

"That was awesome," expressed Cam, "Seriously. Just what I needed." He squeezed Maya's hip, "Thank you."

Maya rubbed his shoulder, acknowledging his gratitude, "Anything for you." She grinned at her two best friends as they gathered around the hospital bed. "They were practicing at lunch today."

Tori flipped her long, curly hair over her shoulder, "Well, it had to be perfect. As always."

Tristan placed a hand on his hip and raised an eyebrow at her, "Our performances are always flawless. Thankfully, the Neanderthal didn't ruin it too much." As soon as he realized what he said, Tristan slapped his hand over his mouth. "I mean, everything was great today." He shot Maya an apologetic look.

Stunned by the comment, Maya tried to remain as nonchalant as possible, hoping Cam didn't catch on. He did.

"What?" he asked. Furrowing his brow at them, he tried to figure out what Tristan meant, or whom he meant. He inhaled quickly, tightening his hold on Maya's hip, "What happened," he asked quietly, directing the question to Maya.

She scanned the room in panic, eyes meeting Tori and Tristan's—both were also speechless. Realizing how suspicious her silence seemed, she tried to assure Cam. "Nothing. Just someone who doesn't appreciate musical theater," she chuckled nervously, "You know." Her laughter died down when Cam's expression hardened. She could tell he knew that she was lying, which was really bad considering Cam has been struggling with maintaining control over his emotions—especially his temper.

"Maya." The dangerously, low tone of Cam's voice acted as a warning signal to the three silent teenagers; Tristan was the first one to act on it. "Why don't Tori and I go to the cafeteria for some Jell-O? We'll get every flavor they have so you guys will have options," he rambled, starting to inch toward the door. "We'll let you two talk." He grabbed a reluctant Tori's hand.

"We'll be right back," Tori promised, sending Maya a worried glance. She didn't allow her eyes to leave the couple until she was entirely out of the room.

Maya stared at the door wistfully, wishing she could have gone with them and avoid this conversation.

Cam, on the other hand, sat brooding in silence. With each passing second Maya didn't explain, his mood darkened. He was aware of the fact that the right thing to do would be to calm down and let Maya explain, but his temper seems to take on a life of its own when he feels extremely insecure—like right now.

"You're just not going to say anything, " he snapped. He didn't protest when Maya left his side to create some distance between them.

Her futile attempt at protecting herself from his anger involved crossing her arms over her chest, avoiding his gaze, and clicking her heels together nervously.

"Cam, it's not a big deal," she mumbled to the ground. She winced when Cam laughed, completely devoid of any emotion.

'Sure," he retorted.

An exasperated Maya kicked the floor with one of her worn out, black converse, "Seriously, Cam. Why are you getting upset right now? It's not good for you to be getting angry like this." She finally looked at him. "Please, calm down for me." She pleaded, her voice more gentle.

Cam's large, brown eyes, filled with remorse, stared back at her. "I'm trying," he muttered helplessly. "I just…I don't feel good right now." His breathing became rapid, while his eyes darted around the room. He felt powerless, guilty, scared—all the while being stuck in the psych ward. He had no idea how he ended up here. His frantic thoughts stopped when two hands grasped his cheeks. Maya's eyes peered into his. "Sweetheart, please calm down. I'll tell you what happened today, okay? You're hurting yourself."

Blinking at the scared girl, Cam glanced down at the wrist he had been scratching mindlessly; he actually drew blood. Maya released one of her hands from its spot on his cheek to grab his wrist in an effort to prevent him from hurting himself any more. Cam fell limply against the pillows, allowing Maya to rub his wounds. "I scared you," he whispered brokenly.

The heartbroken look in his eyes tore Maya apart. "No," she whispered, "I understand. Remember it's me; you never have to feel ashamed of expressing your feelings to me—good or bad." She moved the other hand that rested upon his cheek to the back of his neck, offering him some support for his head as she encouraged him to lift it. "Today at lunch, Trent came over and was obnoxious to all of us as usual." When she noticed Cam becoming angry again, she continued. "But Owen and Dallas stepped in and took care of it. It was no big deal and nothing for you to worry about. Okay?"

She pressed her forehead against his, smiling when she heard him whisper, "Are you sure, he didn't hurt you?"

Placing a kiss on the tip of his nose, she reassured him. "Not at all. I can take him anyway."

Her joke brought a smile to his face. "I know you can," he agreed playfully.

The couple fell silent for a moment; Cam finally breaking the silence, "If he ever bothers you again," he pleads vulnerably, "Please tell me." When Maya nods in agreement, he moves in closer to kiss her firmly, letting his lips linger over hers as he speaks, "I'm sorry about earlier." He shook his head when Maya started to argue, "No, Maya it wasn't right. Sometimes, I honestly feel like I can't control myself." He looked away ashamed.

"Hey," Maya consoled, "It's only me. Just remember that."

He gazed at her adoringly. "I know."

The door to the room opened slowly, displaying an apprehensive Tristan and Tori holding an assortment of Jell-O cups in their arms.

"Everything okay?" Asked Tori, she struggled to hold all of the Jell-O cups. "I think the hospital cafeteria banned us from ever getting Jell-O again."

Tristan shrugged his shoulders, "It was worth it. Now Cam can eat as much Jell-O-as his heart desires. A beautiful thing." He finished.

Cam chuckled before apologizing to his friends, "Thanks guys. I'm really sorry about earlier."

Tristan shook his head at the remorseful boy. "No worries, Cam. Let's just eat Jell-O."

The four teenagers laughed as Tristan dramatically poured the Jell-O cups onto the edge of the bed, proceeding to enthusiastically name all of the flavors.

A/N: Thank you so much to all who reviewed and added the story to your favorites! Hope you like this update :)


	5. Fog

Tapping her pencil against the wooden library desk, Maya struggled to focus on solving the equation in front of her. Maya knew it was ultimately pointless, though. All she could see written on the blank sheet of paper was the word _betrayal_. Groaning, Maya lowered her head on the desk, making sure to bang her head on it a couple of times. When she finally stopped, she left her forehead in its place on the table, looking like a girl defeated by the math homework in front of her. But, the real defeat involved a boy, who in a really short time became the center of her universe; someone who she knows from the bottom of her heart is miserable and virtually a threat to himself. Maya mumbled, "I did the right thing. I did." She trained her mind to repeat the mantra, desperately hoping for the guilt that burdened her to fade away. Maya's motivation for doing what she did stemmed from her feelings for the hockey prodigy; there was no denying that barely a week ago he tried to kill himself. From the end of her visit with him a couple of days ago, Maya realized that she needed to do every thing in her power to help him, which is why she approached the doctor with concern over his behavior.

000000000

_After ensuring Tori and Tristan that they could head back without her, Maya began to search for any sign of the doctor handling Cam's case in the bustling waiting room of the psych ward._

_Finally spotting the doctor walking over to the receptionist desk, Maya hurried over to her with only one frightening thing on her mind—the dismal reality of Cam's mental health. _

"_Dr. Reynolds!" called Maya as she reached the doctor._

_The doctor, holding a stack of files given to her by the nurse at the reception area, faced her with a friendly demeanor. "Hi. Ms. Matlin, am I correct? Is there something I can help you with?"_

_Maya dug the tip of her shoe into the gray linoleum floor and glanced down briefly. She grudgingly spoke, "It's about Cam."_

_The smile on the doctor's face disappeared, a serious expression taking its place. "What is it?"_

_She sighed, wishing she didn't have to do this, but the image of Cam violently scratching himself keeps assaulting her mind. "Cam…he got upset about something that came up in a conversation we were having, and he…" She took a moment to clear her throat when her voice began to tremble. "He began to scratch himself, but it was really brutal. It's like he wanted to rip his skin off." She shook her head, eyes falling to the ground again, "He didn't even realize he was doing it until I told him. I'm just really worried he is going to hurt himself."_

_When Maya finished, Dr. Reynolds nodded curtly, already thinking about the new safety precautions she had to enact for Campbell. "Thank you for letting me know, Maya. You did the right thing." She offered the sad girl an encouraging smile before stepping around her. "If you'll excuse me, I want to prepare Cam for the move."_

_The word move unsettled her. "What do you mean move?" She asked turning around to look at the retreating doctor._

_She paused before a pair of doors leading into an emergency unit, "We'll have to move him into a stricter section of the ward for the patients who pose as a serious danger to themselves. He'll be watched around the clock and detained." She tried to calm a very alarmed Maya, "It won't be forever; he needs to focus on therapy and the doctors' evaluations. It's imperative for his safety and recovery."_

_The doctor turned around once more to leave, but Maya's desperate voice stopped her. " Dr. Reynolds. Will I be able to visit him while he's there?"_

_The doctor shook her head, feeling incredible pity towards the young girl. "I'm sorry, Maya. He will be restricted from any visitors other than immediate family during the time he's under emergency isolation. Why don't you go back in there quickly to say goodbye to him before he goes? He'll be moved immediately." She nodded at Maya, finally disappearing through the double doors._

_Clutching her stomach for support, Maya's legs didn't hesitate to start moving toward Cam's room. She found a confused, but happily surprised Cam when she entered._

"_May, what are doing back here? I thought you, Tori, and Tristan had to go because visiting hours were over." His voice softened, affection lacing it as he spoke, "Not that I'm not happy to see you." Despite the sadness that lingered in his eyes, he smiled at her. _

_Maya's heart melted and broke at the same time. She couldn't believe that she won't be able to see him. Upon approaching his bed, she leaned over to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I wanted to say goodbye one more time. I just realized that my audition for the orchestra is coming up, and I really need to dedicate all of my free time to practicing." Maya wasn't lying entirely; she really did need to focus on her audition, but she purposely left out the part about his upcoming move to the most restricted part of the psyche ward._

_Cam couldn't help but feel a little sad about the possibility of not seeing Maya for a while, but he quickly reminded himself how important this audition was for her. "Yeah," he remarked, "This audition is huge for you. But, you're going to be amazing." He grabbed her hand, placing it protectively between both of his. "I'll miss you," he confessed, stroking the hand he held. _

_Trying to not act suspicious, Maya blinked back a batch of tears ready to fall and smiled cheerfully. "I'll miss you too, superstar." She ran her fingers through his hair and settled her hand on the back of his head. "It'll just be for a little while." Maya silently hoped it would be. _

_He nodded, tugging her hand slightly to bring her closer for a brief kiss. "I love you," he declared as he pulled away. His lips twitched into a nervous but genuine smile. Saying those words were new for them. It was on the day of his suicide attempt that either of them spoke them out loud, so he was still a little shy saying them. _

_Maya was overcome with sadness at the thought of what was going to happen, hoping that he wouldn't be angry with her after all of it. "I love you too," she replied effortlessly, leaning in for one last kiss, surprising Cam a bit at the intensity of it. After long moment, she reluctantly pulled away. "I should go," she whispered._

_Cam pressed his lips together, releasing her hand from his grip. "Okay." _

_Pressing her fingers to her lips, she blew him a kiss as she backed away, making sure to pause for a minute to look at him before leaving the room._

_When the door closed behind her, Cam settled back against his pillows feeling a little apprehensive of her visit. He felt like there was something she wasn't telling him…_

_0000_

Maya squeezed her eyes shut after reliving the memory, almost as if the flashback was too much to handle. It had been officially three days that she hasn't seen him. Releasing the pencil from her tense grip, Maya remained slumped over her unfinished math homework. She could have stayed in the position forever, hiding from the world, if it wasn't for a light tapping on her shoulder.

Tilting her head to get a better view, she came face to face with a visibly nervous Zig.

He smiled awkwardly, raising his arm in a cautious wave. "Hey," he greeted. His eyes fell on the empty chair at the table. "Mind if I sit?"

Maya didn't have the strength to be angry at Zig right now, so she nodded her head. As he was settling in, she returned her attention to her homework, still unable to concentrate. Finally deciding to give up, Maya closed her textbook and placed her elbows on it, clearly in deep thought. She snapped out of her trance when she heard Zig speaking to her.

"Look Maya, I'm really sorry about everything." He kept his eyes fixed on the desk, afraid to see what her reaction will be. "I was mad about my eye and jealous. If I had known Cam was feeling that way, I would have never said that to him." He kept his eyes on the table until he felt a friendly pat on his shoulder.

Maya managed a small but brief smile before turning her eyes straight forward, almost as if she was in a daze; the thoughts running through her head paralyzed the rest of her body, making it hard to do even the simplest tasks, like talking. Despite the distraction, Maya tried her best to vocalize her jumbled, confusing thoughts into coherent sentences. "It's not important anymore, Zig. We just have to focus on what will happen from now on." Her voice shook as she thought about the future—will Cam ever get through this?

"Maya, what's wrong? Is Cam still in the hospital?" Zig's question pierced Maya's ears as if the words were knives. She fought to maintain her composure as she answered him. "He's going to be there for a while. He's getting more private care until the doctors decide it's alright to release him." Grabbing a strand of her short blond hair, Maya couldn't help but ponder her decision and try to figure out if it was the right thing to do. Maya felt like kicking herself at the stupid thought—of course she made the right decision. Cam was still unstable. Whatever it takes to keep him safe, she'll do. She bit her lip as tears filled her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. She's terrified of Cam's reaction when he finds out it was her who told the doctor about his self-harming. The worst thought plaguing her mind was the possibility of him being angry and betrayed—never forgiving her. "I did it out of love," she confessed more to herself than Zig. "He would have hurt himself again—I couldn't take that chance." She looked at Zig, tears coating her pale cheeks. "I just couldn't."

Zig tried to console her, "You did do the right thing Maya. He'll never get better until everything he feels is out in the open. He's in the hands of professionals; he's safe."

Maya listened intently, desperately holding onto Zig's words of encouragement. She did the right thing….

A/N: Thank you again everyone for writing the encouraging reviews and putting the story on your favorite lists. This chapter is a bit short, because spring break is over and school has started again—meaning craziness. I'll try to keep updating as quickly as I can! BTW: What is going on with the _Degrassi_ writers? First they end my favorite new couple (Cam and Maya), and now they break up my OTP Eli and Clare? I'm still not over my other epic OTP Sean and Emma either lol Oh well. Thanks for reading!:)


	6. Change

Lying motionless on the hospital bed, Cam stared at the ceiling unable to do anything else with his body due to the crippling feeling of hopelessness and desperation consuming him. He had been locked in this room for almost an entire week; his only company being doctors or his devastated family. In a way, Cam could understand why he was in this situation—his suicide attempt combined with his habit of self- harming are signs of his instability. But, he is still confused as to how it happened so fast. One minute he was talking to Maya, pondering the reason behind her anxious goodbye and the next moment he was sent into solitary confinement. He might as well be in jail; he's trapped.

The door to this room opened, revealing a very tired but cheerful Mrs. Saunders. "Hi, honey," she greeted as she closed the door behind her. "How was therapy?" She took a seat next to his bed, immediately reaching for his hand once she sat down. "Did Dr. Williams talk to you a little more about your medicine?" She paused to brush the hair out of his eyes. "You've been on the same medication for a couple of days now. Feel like it's working at all?"

Cam hesitated to answer the question, because he really wanted the answer to be a confident "yes" more than anything. Just to get out of the hospital and return to a normal life would be amazing. But the truth was that it was too soon to really tell if the medication was going to help.

He sighed, ready to be honest with this mom. "I feel like it's too soon to tell, mom. I don't think I'll ever really know until I'm out of the hospital and back to a normal routine."

Mrs. Saunders detected the frustration in her son's voice. "Cam, you staying at the hospital is for your own safety. At least until you are stable on the medication." She squeezed his hand when she noticed his crestfallen expression. "You've been here for almost two weeks. Your discharge from the hospital is going to depend on the doctor's advice and the situation you return to."

Cam frowned as he listened to his mom. He was incredibly worried about his life post suicide attempt—the looks from people at school, dealing with hockey, and the possibility of leaving Canada. The last one in particular bothered him the most. As much as he missed his family, he knew leaving his friends—Maya especially—would be unbearable.

It's like his mother read his mind. "Cam. I really want to talk to you about what's the best option for you once you get released from the hospital." She rubbed his hand affectionately, tying to comfort him before she vocalizes her worries. "As your mom, I just want you to be safe and happy. In your condition, I really want to tell you to come home so that I can be with you more during treatment and this really long adjustment period you have ahead of you. But, I know that you have been settling in here. To me, the friends you have made here are incredibly important." She fixes her eyes on a random spot on the blank wall, leaving them there as she gets lost in thought. "The friends you have here are a much better support system than the ones you had back in New Jersey. And that's what I want for you. A life where you can just be yourself without your talent determining who you are to others. That might be what's necessary for helping you get better." She blinked away a few tears pooling in the corner of her eyes, partially failing when one stray tear escaped. "I can't help but feel a little selfish and guilty—I don't want to leave your side and return to New Jersey without you, but I was the one who even allowed you to come here in the first place. For some reason I thought you being in Canada would bring you away from the petty, competitive environment of your old school with hockey." She chuckled humorlessly, "But then I send you to Canada, a country that specializes in the sport. The amount of pressure you have been feeling these past couple of months is more than you ever felt back in Jersey." She rubbed her lips together, trying to control her quivering bottom lip.

There were many things that Cam could take, but seeing his mom cry was never one of them. He covered the hand that held his own and gripped it tightly. "Mom, please don't blame yourself. None of it is your fault. It's mine."

"No," she stated firmly, "None of this is your fault. You can't control the way you are feeling, Campbell. Depression is just like any other illness. It's beyond your control." She stood up to kiss his forehead. "As your mother, I should have been more aware of how you were feeling, especially about hockey. You haven't been happy playing for a long time." She looked at her son with eyes full of regret. "I want to make up for all of it."

When she noticed Cam's mouth opening to protest, she raised her hand. "Hold on, just listen to what I have to say." She patted his hand before speaking. "Bringing you back home to Jersey is the obvious option, but it doesn't seem right." Her voice faltered, "At least not to me." She continued after a brief pause, "You have been here for a couple of months and have settled into your classes, made great friends." She nudged his shoulder as a large grin appeared on her face, "Met your very first girlfriend."

"Mom," he whined, burying his face in his hands to hide the deep blush spreading across his cheeks.

The sight of her son so embarrassed made her giggle. It was a welcome action, considering all of the crying she has been doing in the past couple of weeks. The laughter faded a moment later once she remembered the initial point of this conversation. "I'm moving up here, so that I can be with you. There is no way that I'm going back with you like this. If I stay, then I can watch over you better." She grabbed his arm, reminding herself of his presence and safety, "If you want to stay then my only option is to move. What do you think?"

Hearing his mother's suggestion sparked opposing feelings in Cam—joy and guilt Having the opportunity to stay in Toronto with Maya was too good to be true; he really didn't know how he would have left her if his parents pulled him from Degrassi. But the guilt of knowing that his mom turned her whole life around just for him would be too much to handle.

"But what about your firm? And dad?" Though Cam's relationship with his father was no doubt strained right now, he loved him. Picturing his dad living alone—or even his parents separating bothered him more than he ever thought possible. The feeling of his mother's hand on his cheek calmed his anxious thoughts, allowing him to patiently listen to her explanation.

"Pumpkin, don't worry about me. I can always find work here; I'm sure there are many law firms in Toronto. And please don't worry about dad. He actually supports this idea. Due to the business, he can't relocate right now, but he will visit as much as possible. We both promise." Taking a moment to look at him, she patted his cheek gently before reaching into her large purse and pulling out her cell phone. "I know the hospital has a strict policy about visitors right now, so I figured you'd want to talk to Maya. Maybe tell her the good news?" She smiled at him as she placed the cell phone in his lap. "I'm going to talk to your doctor and grab you a couple of snacks. I'll be right back." She gave him a brief hug, "I love you."

Cam clutched tightly to his mother, allowing the strange feeling of happiness and optimism to over take him-he won't be apart from his mom anymore, he was being allowed to stay at Degrassi, and he didn't have to leave Maya. "I love you mom, thank you." He furiously blinked back tears as his mom placed a series of quick kisses on his forehead. She pointed to the phone before heading towards the door. "Have fun talking to Maya. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Cam nodded and offered a small wave to his mom. Once she left the room, his eyes focused on the phone in front of him. He quickly searched through her contacts and hit Maya's name, not wanting to go another minute without talking to her.

The sound of her frantic but excited voice soothed any negative thoughts he had been feeling for the day. "Cam! How are you? I am so happy that you called. I love you." Maya's rambling brought a smile to his face.

"I love you too. I'm so relieved that I can finally talk to you." He stopped once he detected the sound of sniffling from the other line. "Maya?" he asked worriedly.

Maya slammed her palm against her forehead in frustration at herself for crying when she promised herself she wouldn't. "I'm sorry Cam. I knew that you had to be put under more extreme security. I just couldn't bear the thought of you hurting yourself. I need you to be safe. It was the only thing that I could think of at the time."

It dawned on him that Maya was the one who probably alerted a doctor about his self harming. Even though being in the psych ward was miserable, he could never be angry with her trying to help him. Her desperate plea broke his heart, so he quickly interrupted her. "Maya, listen to me. It's okay. I'm messed up. I need all of the help I can get." He gripped the phone, "Having you on my side is more than I could ever ask for. In case, I don't show it enough—I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your belief in me. If it weren't for you then…" He hesitated, not wanting to finish the thought. They both knew that if it weren't for Maya finding him on that day, he would be six feet under the ground right now.

Maya understood. "You're here." She emphasized both for herself and Cam.

The right corner of his mouth lifted in a smile, "And I'm here to stay."

Intrigued, Maya listened closely to her boyfriend explain everything. If anyone were to look at them now, they would appear to be a normal teenage couple chatting on the phone for hours. Maybe, they could get back to some sense of normalcy very soon.

A/N: Hey, everyone! I wouldn't normally comment on something like this, but I feel like I have to defend myself a little bit. I received a review from someone today, expressing disappointment that I have given up on the story. It has been a little over a week since I have updated, which to me is not very long. I'm currently following stories that are updated once a month or even less than that, which doesn't bother me because I understand the writers are busy. With that being said, I am not giving up on this story. Like I said before, I'm trying this new thing where I actually finish my fics lol I just came back (today) from presenting a paper at an academic conference in Oregon, I am a senior in college, and I am going to grad school next semester. I'm just a tiny bit busy, so I please hope that you all understand that. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it. Till next time, which may take a little bit. But it will happen!


	7. Pressure

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, obviously :D

Maya could not contain her excitement when she sat across from an expectant Tristan and Tori, both of whom, were really confused as to why Maya was so enthusiastic.

Unable to wait any longer, Tristan begged Maya to say something. "Maya, you are killing us here! What's the big news?"

Maya's grin never left her face as she spoke, "Guys. Cam is officially staying in Canada, and he should be coming back to school soon."

Looking at each other, Tristan and Tori began to clap and squeal in excitement. Maya stopped herself from playfully rolling her eyes at the overdramatic pair, and continued sharing the news, "He is going to be released from the hospital and he can come back to school, but…" Her excitement faded as reality hit her, "He is going to be under a tight therapy schedule and will be going to the physiatrist almost every week. His depression is unpredictable. It kind of happens in cycles." Maya shrugged her shoulders and dipped her head closer to them, "Cam was explaining it to me for a little bit, but the details are complicated. All I know is when Cam comes back to school, we need to—"

"Look after him," Tristan finished for her. He nodded, confidence lacing his voice. "Got it."

Tori mirrored Tristan's assurance, "We will do everything we can to support him. Don't worry Maya. You're not alone."

Gratitude toward her two friends consumed Maya to the point of causing tears to trickle down her face. She reached across the table, beckoning them to hold her hand. "Thank you."

The three friends were so wrapped up in their conversation that they didn't notice the intruder pulling out a chair and joining them. "Are you guys having a moment?"

Maya didn't even have to turn her head to know who was speaking. Her realization sparked the quick decision to shift her chair away, trying to create as much distance as possible between them.

Once again, Tristan beat all of them in the race to speaking first. He always had a sharp comment ready for any occasion, "Did we say you could come over here, Trent? No? Didn't think so." He finished by fixing Trent with the most threatening look he could manage.

Noticing the annoyed expression on Trent's face, Maya knew anything that comes out of his mouth would be a direct attack against Tristan. She didn't even let the hockey player form a sentence before blurting, "Shut it, Trent. Say anything about Tristan or even Cam for that matter, then you'll be sorry."

Shocked, Tori and Tristan glanced at each other. Neither could believe Maya just stood up to Trent like that. Tori smirked—she was so proud.

"What Maya said," Tori declared. She sneered at Trent, flipping her hair. "Just leave."

Trent erupted into a fit of laughter, causing the three freshmen to glare even harder at him. Not one of them bothered to ask why he was laughing; they just wanted him to go away, which is what he did to the relief of all three of them.

Trent had to say one final obnoxious thing before he left.,"It's nice to know that Cam has a group of freshmen as his protectors. I wish I had that." He chuckled after his sarcastic comment and slammed his hand on the library table before leaving.

After he was gone, Maya buried her face in her hands and released a muffled scream. "Why do we have to deal with this? Cam does not need this at all when he comes back." She looked up at her friends, "What to do we do?"

Tori lowered her head forlornly, unable to give Maya an answer.

"All we need to do is focus on Cam," reassured Tristan after a long pause of silence between the three friends. "Trent is an idiot. We can never change that." His comment caused the two discouraged girls to smile.

Maya shrugged her shoulders, eager to change the subject. "Do you guys want to come to my house after school? Cam's mom has been lending him her cell phone a little bit each day, since he can't have any visitors or his own cellphone in the room with him. You could talk to him."

Her suggestion changed the mood immediately. Without hesitation, both Tristan and Tori agreed with Maya's proposal, and the three friends exited the library happily once the bell signaled the end of free period.

They all met back up at the end of the day to pile into Katie's car, much to Katie's annoyance, and head back to the Maitlin household. Once in her room, all three of them got settled in their own ways. Maya placed her backpack in the corner of her room and gave a quick once over to her cello that stood in the same spot; Tori made herself comfortable on a purple beanbag chair, and Tristan flopped down on Maya's bed, sprawling out. He let out a dramatic groan, "I am so tired."

Tori and Maya both shook their heads as they looked at each other. Tristan was always so dramatic.

"Well, Tristan. I guess you are too tired to speak to Cam first then," teased Maya as she started playing with her cell phone. Tristan sat up, making sure to perform the action as agonizingly slow as possible, and gasped. "Never!" he announced before falling back on the bed again. Maya giggled as Tori hit him with a pillow. She turned her back on the two friends starting a pillow fight to call Cam. She had asked Cam's mom if it was alright if she could call him after school on this day, and Mrs. Saunders was more than happy to agree to make sure that Cam had access to a phone, which Maya was extremely grateful for. She needed to hear his voice after the run in with Trent.

After a few rings, a familiar female voice picked up the phone, "Hi, honey! I just wanted to say a quick hello before I pass over the phone to by blushing son over here." Maya could hear the faint sound of Cam's voice in the background saying "mom" in embarrassment. Maya couldn't help the smile that graced her face; she was thankful that Mrs. Saunders couldn't see her own red cheeks. "Hi, Mrs. Saunders," greeted Maya happily. Cam's mom mentioned something about not wanting to embarrass Cam anymore before passing the phone. The sound of Cam's voice caused her heart to pound a little faster.

"Hey, please ignore what my mom just said," he joked. His voice took an entirely different tone when he spoke again, "How was your day?"

Maya tried to ignore the fluttering sensation when she heard the fondness in his voice. The feeling never gets old, "It was good," she responded, "Much better now though."

He couldn't help but smile at her comment. "Well, that's good to hear." He laughed lightly.

Gripping the phone tighter, Maya closed her eyes and tried to savor this moment. Hearing his laugh made the dull ache tormenting her for weeks fade away. Her feelings for him overwhelmed her sometimes.

"Okay," Maya exclaimed, trying to focus on the conversation. "Tristan and Tori really want to catch up with you, so I guess I'll give the phone over to…" Before she could finish her sentence, a loud "me" rang across the room. She turned around to find one of Tristan's arms, the only visible part of his body, raised through a sea of pillows.

Maya giggled, "You're going to have fun with this one."

Cam laughed, "Knowing Tristan, I am sure I will. I'll talk to you later though. Love you."

Maya bit her lip, blushing. "I love you too."

She rolled her eyes as Tori and Tristan started making loud kissing noises. She dropped the phone on the mountain of pillows where Tristan still lay under and went to go sit down on her beanbag chair.

After Tristan grabbed the phone and resurfaced from the pile of pillows to talk, Tori walked over to where Maya sat and crouched in front of her. Maya immediately noticed the worried expression on her friend's face.

"You okay?" asked Tori in a hushed whisper so Tristan couldn't hear her.

Confused, Maya simply nodded her head. "Of course, Tor. Why would you ask?"

Tori squeezed Maya's knee before sitting down on the floor. She paused, considering her words carefully. "I have been worried about you. These last few weeks have been beyond stressful for you, and I just want to make sure you're handling it all right."

Maya laughed off her friend's concern, hiding her own anxiety about the conversation. "Tori, I'm fine. You sound like my sister."

Tori listened to Maya with a serious expression. "I noticed you have been looking really tired lately and not eating…" Tori stopped when Maya began to protest.

"No, Tor. Trust me. I feel fine." She forced a smile to convince her, but it didn't seem to work.

Tori grabbed her hand and squeezed it, showing her support. "I'm always here for you."

Maya found herself nodding at her best friend's words, secretly welcoming them wholeheartedly. She has been secretly struggling since Cam's suicide attempt, but she didn't want to showcase her worries. All that mattered was that Cam was okay. She would feel better once he was okay. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her name.

"Maya?" Tori frowned. "Maya, did you hear me?"

She focused her attention on Tori, instead of her stressful inner dialogue. "Yeah. I just…you're right. It's been a long couple of weeks." She smiled weakly before dropping her gaze onto the arm that held her charm bracelet from Cam. She tried to look at it as a reminder that Cam is here now, and she shouldn't be stressing on what if…

Maya muttered, "I need to snap out of it. Cam needs me right now." She felt Tori grab her arm in support, while the sounds of Tristan's happy chattering filled the room.

A/N: I rushed to write this for you all—like literally in the last two days. I don't want anyone worrying that I gave up on the story due to the turn the current Degrassi episodes are taking (I have to admit, Zig and Maya are so cute.) Anyway, I like the season so far, but I also love imagining this alternative reality where Cam is still around, so I'm going to keep writing it! Thanks for reviewing and adding the story on your favorite lists! :)


	8. A Team

A/N: I don't own Degrassi.

After an agonizing three weeks, Maya couldn't believe she was standing in front of a door leading to the new small but cozy apartment of Cam and his mom. She felt excitement and hope. Finally, Cam is going to resume his normal life and continue his recovery. When she received a call early this morning, she almost passed out in shock when she saw Cam's name flashing on her screen, which only meant one thing—he had access to his cell phone again and was released from the hospital. Begging her sister for a ride, Maya managed to convince Katie to drop her off at his mom's place after school. She didn't want to pass up a chance to see him for the first time out of the hospital.

She tapped the door a couple of times, smiling immediately when a happy Mrs. Saunders greeted her. "Hey, Maya. Come in, please!" She opened the door wider and gestured for Maya to come inside. Boxes were scattered around the apartment, but a small amount of furniture had already been set up. It was really beginning to look like a home.

"This apartment is great," complimented Maya as she scanned the room. She smiled as her eyes landed on a family photo of the Saunders family.

Cam's mom wiped her forehead, "Thank you. It takes a bit of time and energy to move though." She shook her head, causing a piece of curly brown hair to peek out from underneath her bandana headband, and she took a big breath. "We should be almost done with arranging the heavy furniture."

Before Maya had the chance to respond, an eager Cam barreled out of his room. She barely had time to process the sight of him jogging towards her before his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her tightly against him in a close embrace. Grasping his shoulders as he pulled in, Maya's surprise quickly subsided and was replaced by pure excitement to see him. After all that's happened, it seems almost unreal to see him out of the hospital—no more IV in his arm and being confined behind dull walls—just typical Cam wearing his favorite sweatshirt, featuring his favorite team, and sporting a genuine smile. It's all Maya wanted to see.

Her stomach fluttered when she felt a pair of lips gently press against her neck, and she had to force herself to suppress a sound of protest that was ready to escape her lips when his own pulled away. Cam pulled back and briefly made eye contact with her, his lips conveying a sweet smile. Maya returned the affectionate look before turning toward Cam's mother, whom to her embarrassment had witnessed all of the PDA and was grinning widely at both of them.

Finally remembering that his mom was in the same room, Cam hesitantly faced her with a deep blush splotched on both of his cheeks. "Sorry, mom." He said sheepishly, while scratching the back of his head in discomfort.

Brushing it off, Mrs. Saunders shook her head. "Don't worry. You two should take some time to catch up." She reached over the kitchen island she had been leaning against to grab her purse. "I'm happy that you came now, Maya. I need to run to the store to grab a couple of things, especially Cam's fruit snacks. You can keep him company while I'm gone." As she spoke, she pulled out her cell phone and began typing a grocery list.

For the second time in the last five minutes, Cam felt embarrassed. "Mom," he whispered, shooting her a pleading look. Maya covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.

Mrs. Saunders looked up from the screen with a confused expression. "What? I only said that I needed to get you fruit snacks." Her eyes widened as another item came to her mind, "Oh! And a pack of juice boxes."

Cam rolled his eyes in frustration, while Maya laughed softly at the exchange between them. She extended her hand towards his own, brushing it softly before pulling away. "Got it, Mrs. Saunders. You can count on me."

The tired brunette smiled at Maya gratefully, adjusting her purse onto her shoulder. "Okay, I'll be back soon." She hesitated for a moment, considering whether she should embarrass her son any more and give him a kiss. She decided to go with the embarrassment. "Bye, kids." She kissed Cam's forehead before heading out.

Once the door was closed, Maya focused her attention on Cam, whose face resembled a tomato. She shook her head, stepped closer to him, and wrapped her arms around him. "I missed you so much," she whispered.

Cam sighed, returning the embrace. He couldn't vocalize how much he missed her, his guilt, or his uncertainty. Leaving the hospital forced him to remember his usual routine, a routine that he struggled to get through everyday. He didn't want to think about how hard it would continue to be. "I missed you, too." He felt sad when Maya released her grip on him. He couldn't meet her gaze right away, knowing it held the same emotions he had been feeling.

"I'm trying to unpack my stuff," he exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood. "But, I'm so lost. I was arranging my stuff before you got here, but I don't think I can do anymore right now."

Maya touched his cheek, trying to get him to look at her, "So take a break. Like your mom said, we should catch up."

Nodding his head in agreement, Cam took the hand that was resting on his shoulder and interlaced his fingers with hers. "Okay, but remember I'm not Tori and Tristan, so no gossip please," he joked, leading her his room.

She laughed, "Of course." A thought popped in her head suddenly, not giving her time to think before she blurted it out, "It's weird seeing you out of the hospital and walking around. I mean, I have only been seeing you in a hospital bed." Maya stopped, incredibly mad at herself for mentioning the hospital when they were having a semi normal moment; she panicked when she noticed Cam freeze, but before she could do damage control, he turned to face her.

His expression remained serious as he spoke, "Are you calling me short?"

Realizing he was joking, Maya smiled in relief. It was typical Cam, and the thought of him feeling better even for a moment was incredibly comforting. "No, Cam," she assured. Her smile weakened when Cam let go of her hand. "No, I just can't believe you called me short." He rubbed his eyes, releasing a long dramatic breath, I need some time to think." He started taking a few steps toward his room but paused once he reached the doorway. "Kidding," he proclaimed turning back around and running toward her.

Maya yelped in surprise when Cam bent down, wrapped his arms around her legs, and hoisted her up in a tight hold. "I forgive you," he reassured as he walked into his room with her in his arms.

Maya couldn't control her giggling when Cam dropped her on his bed, but once he lowered himself next to her with his face dangerously close to hers, she forgot how to breathe. Cam pressed his lips against hers in a brief but intimate kiss that left Maya's heart racing before flopping down on his back to lie next to her. He grabbed her hand, his eyes fixed upon the ceiling.

Maya sighed, glancing at Cam's quiet form. "What are you thinking about?" She asked softly, beginning to rub her thumb across the hand that held hers.

"Nothing," stated, trying to manage a small smile, but failing miserably.

Maya turned on her side and placed her hand on his chest. "Cam. Talk to me," she pleaded. She stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something, but he remained silent. "You're not feeling well, right now. What can I do?" The question sounded desperate, but she didn't care. She wanted him to know that she was worried and needed to talk about his feelings, whether good or in his case really bad. "I think expressing whatever you are bottling up inside will help relieve some of the pain you're feeling." She paused as his brown eyes met hers.

"I have tried expressing what I feel, but I can't exactly do it anymore now that I'm the focus of everyone's attention. " He lifted his free arm, a portion of which was covered in bandages, in order to emphasize his choice outlet for releasing the sadness and self-loathing he felt burdening his mind every second of each day. It wore him out. He almost regretted opening his mouth when he saw the heartbroken expression appear on Maya's face, but in this moment he was truly being honest with her. He didn't like sharing his true feelings for the very reason of transferring his pain onto his girlfriend, which was inevitable if he told her every negative, disturbing thought that had crossed his mind. He never wanted her to feel that kind of misery.

Maya adjusted her position on the bed so that her eyes were level with his own, ending up partially on top of him with her leg nestled around one of his. Unfazed by Cam's reaction to their proximity, Maya focused her attention on touching the bandaged arm he had just shown. "Being under the care of a professional can only help you, Cam. Self-harm is not a healthy way to vent, and will only end up making you feel worse in the end."

After a moment of silence between them, Cam spoke. "Sounds like you're an expert on the topic." His brow furrowed as he watched Maya shift nervously like she was guilty of something; he couldn't help but feel a wave of panic and remorse at the thought of Maya understanding what he was talking about. "Maya," his voice rose, "You don't?"

Mortified, Maya shook her head furiously and laughed awkwardly. She opened her mouth, ready to present a prepared speech of denial that she had rehearsed for her parents, sister, and friends—pretty much for anyone who would ask this question. But looking at Cam's wide, sorrowful eyes brimming with tears kept the lie from leaving her mouth. Somehow, the truth replaced it. "My sister went through hell in the past two years. She went to rehab for a pill addiction, her heart was destroyed by Drew Torres," she rolled her eyes at the name, "My role model fell apart before my eyes, I didn't know what else to do. It kept me from screaming at the top of my lungs, basically from letting my family know how much it affected me. Especially, Katie." She smiled sadly, "I couldn't burden my sister who was already suffering, so I kept quiet about it." She glanced at Cam when she felt his fingers thread through her hair and smiled genuinely when he stroked her cheek. "I have made a lot of progress," she desperately wanted to reassure him, "I try to find other ways to express any pain I'm feeling, like listening to music, singing at the top of my lungs, going for a run…anything." Resting her head upon his chest, she listened closely for the sound of his heartbeat, instantly calming down when she found it. "Believe me when I say I understand, okay? I want you to have a healthy outlet to relieve your pain and that can be me." She closed her eyes, snuggling closer to him. "Promise to always let me know when you're not feeling well?"

Cam was never good with words, and in this moment when his throat closed up and his eyes welled with tears, he really was speechless. Despite his difficulty, he focused all of his energy to give Maya an answer that she deserved. "I'm going to try my best to tell you at least one thing about how I'm feeling everyday." He stroked her back, "Okay? I really will." When Maya didn't say a word, Cam lifted his head to get a better look at her, but a mess of blonde hair suddenly bombarded his vision and he was forced backwards by a strong kiss. He kissed her back just as eagerly, instantly protesting when Maya broke the kiss abruptly. She gave him an Eskimo kiss as an apology before announcing proudly, "We're a team."

Cam smiled at her, "You are definitely the most beautiful teammate I have ever had."

The joke caused Maya to giggle. "You are so cheesy."

"I'm the cheesy one?" He retorted, tickling her side.

She burst out laughing, "We both are I guess." Her heart lifted seeing him so happy; she made a note to herself to remember him like this in case she ever saw him at his worst again. Ridding those thoughts from her mind, Maya settled back into Cam's embrace again. Silence fell between them, giving Maya's eyes the chance to close in exhaustion and Cam's mouth to confess the thought that had been bothering his mind. "You'll tell me when you're not feeling all right too, yeah?" He bit his lip when he felt her place a tiny kiss on his chest, "I promise." Her answer put his worn mind at ease, letting him rest his eyes too. They both fell asleep for a much needed nap, and didn't even notice when Mrs. Saunders came home and placed a blanket over them. Cam would eventually wake up and realize in embarrassment that his mom had used his favorite Power Rangers blanket.

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating! I have been so busy, but I hope everyone likes one. Thanks for reading!


	9. Reality

**Disclaimer: I own nothing involving Degrassi, sadly. **

"A little more to the left," dictated Tori.

Tristan followed the instructions, immediately shifting the blue balloon to the upper right hand corner of the locker. Once he finished, he took a step back with a satisfied smile on his face and admired his work. "This looks great," he exclaimed glancing at Tori who nodded alongside him in agreement.

"He is going to love it," offered Tori.

These words were the first Maya heard as she turned the corner, down the familiar path to Cam's locker. She had rushed to school early knowing that it was Cam's first day back, but she also felt the need to hurry due to her friends' urgent text message telling her to go straight to Cam's locker the first chance she arrived to school. Maya immediately knew the two were up to something, but she had to give them props for slightly surprising her. Cam's locker, on any normal day just a plain blue metal door, was now decked out with wrapping paper, tinsel, and balloons. It looked like Tori and Tristan ransacked a clown's house.

"Guys?" called Maya once she reached the pair. She followed their lead and stood right in front of the locker, observing the decorations. Raising her hand in the direction of the locker, she smiled while simultaneously shaking her head in disbelief at her friends. "What is this? His birthday is next month." Her smile disappeared when she was on the receiving end of two glares; quickly racking her brain for a gentler way to voice her thoughts, she cleared her throat and prepared to do damage control. "It's great guys, I'm just not sure if Cam wants all of this attention on him when he comes back."

Tori and Tristan frowned at the thought of making Cam uncomfortable on his first day back at Degrassi. Tristan spoke up, regret lacing his voice, "We thought it would be a good idea at the time, but we didn't think about how this could potentially be a really insensitive gesture." He shook his head when Maya's words became even more clear to him, "Sorry Maya." He made a move to remove the balloon but was stopped by Maya's hand on his shoulder. "Hey," she said gently, "Cam will love that you guys cared enough to cheer him up. Let's keep everything up and surprise him when he comes over here before classes start. He'll be happy to see us when he first sees it." She smiled at Tristan, which the tall boy returned, stepping closer to Maya and enveloped her into a hug. "I knew you couldn't resist our decorating skills," he joked sparking a genuine laugh from Maya.

"Of course, I couldn't." Maya smiled wider as Tori joined in the group hug, which was interrupted a short moment later by a strange voice behind them.

"Is it someone's birthday?" The boy sauntered over to the group and threw them an amused smirk. The three of them looked at him in confusion, honestly having no clue who he was. Maya decided to be the polite one, "Um, no. It's just a welcome back gift for my boyfriend on his first day back after a little break." She noted Tristan's awkward coughing and Tori anxiously biting her fingernails at the word "break." It was a monumental understatement for the real situation. She ignored the weird vibe he was giving her and nodded in his direction, which she hoped was a friendly gesture that signaled the end of the conversation. He didn't get the message.

Oh, right," he mused, throwing Maya a lazy grin and stepping closer, "You date that hockey dude. The one who freaked out a couple of weeks ago."

Maya's eyes narrowed, her hands forming into fists. She could punch him right this second and not think twice about it. She chose the more socially acceptable option. "Look," Maya seethed, "I don't appreciate you talking to me about how my boyfriend _freaked_ out; I think I understand perfectly what happened to him. Now, if you're smart I would suggest you walking in the opposite direction and not coming back. Cool?" She flashed him a fake smile before rolling her eyes and walking over to Cam's locker. As she leaned against it, she grudgingly noticed that the boy didn't make one move, and on top of it all, was smirking even wider at her. Glancing at Tori and Tristan for help, she silently begged them to say something.

Tori understood Maya's desperate look and addressed the stranger,"Why are you still standing here?" She crossed her arms and glared, "Move along."

To the three teens' surprise and annoyance, he still didn't move. Maya felt unsettled and uncomfortable; she hoped that Cam did not come to his locker anytime soon.

Oooooooooooooooo

Meanwhile, Cam exited the principal's office with his mother and Principal Simpson, holding a small note in his hand. He took a couple of steps before turning around to face Mr. Simpson, giving him a nervous smile. "Thank you, sir. For being so understanding and…" Campbell choked on his words as an image of him in the greenhouse popped into his head. As he tried to block the image, a comforting hand fell on his shoulder.

"Don't even thank me, Cam." Mr. Simpson smiled warmly at Cam and his mother, "I'm just grateful to have one of my students back. We are going to do everything we can to make sure you are comfortable." His hand left Cam's shoulder, returning to his side, "Remember every free period you are to report to Ms. Sauve's office for counseling."

Despite feeling uncomfortable, Cam found himself nodding and smiling at Mr. Simpson. He knew the counseling idea would be the best thing for him. Maybe even help him survive the next three years. His eyes shut painfully at the harsh thought. He knew that he only barely survived three weeks ago if it wasn't for _her_. Thinking of Maya transformed his mood instantly, and he found himself excited to be at school and see her. He turned to face his mom and gave her a hug. "I guess, I'll get going then,"

Mrs. Saunders smiled at her son, hugging him back. "Well, it looks like you aren't embarrassed of your mom anymore." She backed away slightly, grabbing his shoulders gently and peered into his eyes. "You will remember to go to the counselor, right?"

Seeing the worried expression on his mother's face made him feel so guilty. Guilty knowing that he put it there. He reassured her softly, "I promise."

That's all she needed to hear. She smiled encouragingly as she fluffed his hair, biting back laughter as Cam turned red at the gesture. "Okay, I'll stop now. I'll be back at 3:30 to pick you up. Have a good day." She waved, turned towards the front doors, and stepped out.

Cam exhaled deeply, lifting his hand to say goodbye to Mr. Simpson before walking down the familiar path to his locker. When he finally turned the last corner of the hallway, a strange scene greeted him. Maya, Tori, and Tristan were arguing with a tall, curly headed guy that Cam felt like he strangely knew. It quickly dawned on him—he was the guy who sold drugs to his fellow teammates. Cam has seen him in the locker room a couple of times, even witnessing a trade between him and Trent. Remembering this guy only pushed Cam to move faster toward the group, his eyes set on Maya. Once he reached her, he slipped his arm around her waist without a warning and ignored her startled jump. He heard Maya's voice whisper his name, prompting him to squeeze her hip as an apology for scaring her, but he couldn't look away from the smirking person in front of him. "I know you from somewhere."

The statement made the smirking boy nod his head, "Yeah. Some of your teammates are my best customers. Glad to see you back man." His eyes landed on Maya," Later." Maya purposefully ignored his gaze as he walked away.

After pretending to gag while the unwelcome intruder left the group, Tristan faced everyone with wide eyes, "I totally know who that is now. It's Harry, the sketchy drug dealer of Degrassi. I remember hearing Owen mention something about him." Tristan's voice softened, embarrassed that he unofficially admitted that his brother had taken drugs in the past. "I guess the hockey team is notorious for using his services." He looked at Cam apologetically, "Except for you Cam. I know you don't get involved in any of that."

Cam smiled gratefully at his friend, "Don't worry about it Tristan. I know how most of the team acts." Clenching his jaw and bowing his head, Cam took a deep breath and tried to avoid thinking about the team. His personality clash with most of them has caused a lot of stress, but it's something that he didn't need right now. Lifting his head, he noticed three sets of very worried eyes watching him. "Why are you all looking at me like I have three heads?" He tried to pull off a convincing smile, but none of them bought it. "Guys, don't worry about that kid. The team would make excuses almost every weekend to have a party, and they usually went to him for something to help them have more fun." He rolled his eyes as he thought about some of his teammates, "It's the way most of them are. I think they are convinced of their status as gods, because they can skate on ice while hitting a puck around. If anything feel bad for them."

His comments made Tristan laugh, but Tori and Maya oddly remained quiet. Cam noticed and glanced in between the two girls, directing his next words to them, "It's not a surprise that the hockey team acts like that, right?"

Tori spoke up for both her and Maya. "It's not that we are shocked Cam. It's just awful that you have to deal with it. Being the star player on the team can't be easy when you aren't a fool like the rest of your team." She smiled when Cam laughed.

"I appreciate the concern," he pulled Maya closer to his side, "But Harry and the Ice Hounds' partying habits aren't something you should worry about." He turned his head, focusing on a very quiet Maya. "Okay?"

She snapped out of her trance, meeting Cam's gaze. "Okay," she gave in to his reassuring words. For now. But she didn't want to drop it. Faking a smile, Maya placed a hand on Cam's stomach, steering him in the direction of his locker. "Tori and Tristan's masterpiece," she teased. Her heart fluttered when Cam's eyes lit up at the sight of the decorated locker.

"You did this for me?" he asked looking back at a happy Tori and Tristan.

"Of course," Tristan clapped his hands together, "Today is something to celebrate. Our group is finally complete with you here."

Cam couldn't help the genuine grin that graced his face. Leaving Maya's side, he lifted his arms and placed them around Tristan and Tori's shoulders, bringing them together into a hug. Maya's mood improved a million percent witnessing the image.

The smile didn't leave Cam's face as he pulled away, and he made sure to keep eye contact with both Tori and Tristan as he spoke his next words. "I'm lucky to have you two as friends. At least, I have some shred of normalcy here." He looked at Maya, "When that wasn't the case before." He knew once meeting Maya's eyes that she understood what he meant. She was the first person to notice that he had never wanted to become the center of attention at school as the new hockey prodigy or belong to a tyrannical group of ego driven guys who were desperate for power, which sadly, is what the Ice Hounds have become. If it weren't for her, he would have never reached this moment—having genuine friends, who cared enough to decorate his locker, unconditionally support him through his issues, and not harass him for losing a game. It was the way it should be.

"Rookie!" the loud voice caused everyone to look in its direction, finding an excited Dallas jogging over to the group. He slapped Cam's shoulder, grinning widely at him. "Good to see you man."

Cam returned Dallas' wide smile. "Thanks, Dallas. It's good to see you too." He felt a huge amount of gratitude towards his captain, and most importantly his friend, for being one of his biggest allies on the team.

Dallas stopped to acknowledge everyone with a warm smile before speaking. "I gotta get going to the rink for a quick team meeting, but we should catch up at lunch."

"Yeah, most definitely," he frowned at the sudden curiosity he felt about this meeting. "What's the meeting about?"

Dallas shifted uncomfortably and sighed. "It's about rearranging positions. For the time you are away."

Cam grimaced at the thought of the coaches having to do extra work to rid him out of the plays. "Wait," he stared at Dallas, afraid to speak his fear out loud. "Who would be placed in my position for the new plays?"

Dallas' regretful look was the answer he needed. "No way," Cam exclaimed. "Easton?" Gripping his hair, Cam shut his eyes. The idea of Trent filling his position on the team filled him with rage—Trent has been the most difficult teammate to deal with for all of these months due to the jealousy and obvious hostility he directed at Cam constantly. Letting him take over his spot means allowing Trent to succeed in psyching Cam out of his deserved place on the team and basically accepting his ridicule and harassment. Cam was miserable enough; he didn't need that burden taunting him for the rest of his time at Degrassi. Maybe it was the overwhelming mix of emotions assaulting his mind or just the pent up frustration he felt from being the target of the team's resentment, but Cam opened his mouth regardless of the reason to release words he never thought he would say again. "I want back on the team. I'm not going to let _him_ take my place."

Ignoring the shocked looks on everyone's faces, including Dallas, he continued to assert his decision, "Tell the coaches that I'll be at the next practice."

Watching this conversation unfold horrified Maya. Feelings of confusion and powerlessness debilitated her from speaking or making one move to protest as the reality of Cam's decision set in—the Ice Hounds, the source of his stress and fragile mind, was going to be back in his life after a mere couple of weeks since his suicide attempt. There is no way that this could help Cam, of that Maya was certain.

Maya wasn't the only one alarmed at Cam's announcement; in addition to a gaping mouthed Tori and Tristan, Dallas stood paralyzed while trying desperately to come up with the right words to say next. He couldn't find them. "We'll talk at lunch, okay?" He and Maya exchanged nervous looks before Dallas left the group in an awkward silence.

Tori tugged on Tristan's hand, beckoning him to follow Dallas' lead and give Maya and Cam space. Tristan willingly moved with her, knowing Maya would be the only one to talk some sense into him. "We'll see you guys later," he assured the two sullen teens.

"Bye," Maya faintly whispered when they walked away. Her eyes fell on Cam, who stood still with clenched fists and a detached look in his eyes. For the first time, she didn't know what to say to him, so she remained in her place, watching Cam carefully.

She almost jumped when Cam's eyes met hers, but she couldn't look away as he walked forward. Once he reached her, he hesitated on what to do next, finally deciding to lean against the lockers with both arms placed on either side of her. They stood there for a moment, unable to look away from each other, trying to find the right words to start a conversation. Cam broke the silence, "I made a promise to tell you at least one detail about how I'm feeling everyday, and this is it." His eyes never trailed away from her own, exposing his desperate need to explain himself to her. "I have come to terms with my shaky self confidence being a major part of why I feel miserable. I already felt unworthy of anything before I came to Degrassi on the hockey scholarship, so dealing with the some of my obnoxious teammates destroyed whatever little bit I had left. Trent was the worst one. If I let him take my position, then I'll be admitting that I am officially a lost cause. He'll win and rub it in my face. I can't live with myself if I let that happen."

Maya grabbed Cam's chin gently, begging him to listen to her. "You never have to feel like another person has power over how you feel about yourself. Trent doesn't matter—you don't have to force yourself to get back into hockey right away to prove anything to him. Give yourself time, so that you can play on your own terms and enjoy it. I know how much you love it, but it isn't healthy for you right now."

"I'm convinced this is the right thing to do, Maya."

She let go of his chin, leaning against the lockers defeated. "It looks like you made up your mind. I don't want to pressure you into making a decision that you don't want."

Unsettled, Cam bit his lip. "Don't be mad. Please."

His somber expression broke her heart. "I'm not mad," she reassured honestly. "Just worried."

His expression softened, momentarily dropping his gaze to her lips. "And you have no idea how much I appreciate that you care." He looked into her eyes, leaning in to brush his lips against her own. "I love you," he whispered before giving her a soft, lingering kiss.

The words brought a small smile to her face. "I love you too. A lot." She uttered the last two words under her breath, preventing Cam from hearing them, and sighed deeply. "Just let me know what Dallas says after you talk to him. If this is what you want then I want to be there for you. You're not going to be alone." She tugged the collar of his shirt, "You know that already."

He pulled her into his arms and settled his head on her shoulder, "I know."

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, afraid to let him go, because she knew that the conversation he would have with Dallas will bring him back onto the team and into his old nightmare.

**A/N: Writers block and finals are the reason why this took so long. But, I hope everyone likes this one! **


	10. Failed Plan

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

"Dude, what's going through your mind?"

Cam stared at Dallas, partially shocked by the sudden change in conversation. One minute he was being hounded by his old teammates, trying to answer the incessant stream of questions about his return to the team, and the next minute the table was empty except for a concerned Dallas looking at him from across the cafeteria table. Cam shifted his eyes around the crowded room, hoping for an easy escape from the conversation, but he knew it was inevitable.

"I want back on the team, Dallas." He nodded at the table next to them, which was occupied by the rest of the Ice Hounds, including a visibly annoyed Trent. "He thinks he finally has the chance to show me up, but it's not happening. Things have changed."

Dallas' dark brown eyes widened as Cam violently crushed the soda can that he had been drinking from. Unfazed by Dallas' reaction, Cam nonchalantly threw the can into the recycling bin behind their table, causing the bin to shake with the force of the throw. Dallas couldn't resist commenting, "Easy there Hulk. The can is not Trent's face."

Cam laughed darkly, "Too bad." His eyes met Dallas' gaze briefly before focusing on the table; he prepared himself to listen to Dallas' words in the withdrawn position.

Dallas sighed deeply, trying to mentally prepare himself for the right words to use on his troubled friend. It wasn't easy trying to make sense out of his jumbled though process, but he forced himself to try for Cam's sake. "Listen to me, man. Trent is the last thing you need to be worried about." He banged his fist on the table in an effort to get Cam to look at him. It didn't work, but Dallas continued anyway. "When you first joined this team, I was like the majority of the guys and wanted to be on top of the Degrassi food chain. With you, the best hockey player I have ever seen in my life, I knew this team would be unstoppable. But things really have changed."

Curiosity peeking at the captain's words, Cam lifted his head to look at Dallas.

"I finally see how much you have been struggling since the day you first came here. And I get it now, Cam. Your mind isn't in a good place. You need to take care of this." He pointed at his head without breaking his attention on Cam, "And less on competition, hockey, and the team. We want you to be okay, man."

"And I will be," Cam interrupted. Ignoring Mike's look of doubt, he defended his case. "I'm going to the doctors, I'm on medication, not too mention tons of therapy every week. Maybe getting back on the team will give me something to focus on beside treatment."

Dallas quickly fought back, "You need to be focusing your energy on getting your mind back to a place of control. Come on, you have been miserable for these past couple of months on the team; after what happened I know that you are not really convinced that going back to the Ice Hounds will solve your problems." He lifted his hands in surrender as he plead with the young, distraught boy who stared at him. "I want you to come back to hockey because you love it and not to prove something to a bitter teammate. Scouts will notice if you're miserable."

Cam's shoulders shook with laughter, "There it is. The old Dallas who wants to scouted."

Dallas clenched his teeth together, "I didn't mean it like that. I don't want to go through the hell that I did a couple of weeks ago when you." Stopping himself before he became too emotional, Dallas fell into a tense silence that Cam broke right away.

"Before I tried to kill myself. You can say it, Mike. I won't break." He scoffed, running his fingers through his hair, and snuck a glance at the solemn captain. "Just be on my side, Dallas. I need support on this. Please."

Mike rubbed his eyes quickly, silently hoping that no one noticed how close he was to showing tears. "You know I will, rookie." Dallas cleared his throat and nudged Cam's shoulder. "I want you to go easy in practice. The coaches will agree with me, so don't fight us on it, okay? Good luck telling your girl." He waved at Maya, who hesitatingly made her way to the table in fear of interrupting the conversation.

"Hey," she greeted meekly.

Cam turned to look at her, his expression softening. "Hey, how was the band meeting?"

Maya tried to suppress an eye roll as she thought about the incredibly unproductive WhisperHug meeting that Mo organized last minute. "It was uneventful. I should have practiced my cello, instead." She smiled at the two boys sheepishly as she scooted near Cam, placing her bag on the table and resting one hand on his shoulder. "So, how's lunch?" She snuck a glance at Dallas, trying to see if he had any good news regarding the plan to convince Cam to not rejoin the team right away, but judging by the obvious way he ignored her stare, the conversation didn't go as Maya had hoped it would. "That good, huh?" She replied weakly.

Dallas grimaced, shooting an apologetic look her way. "I'm going to head over to the guys. We're supposed to be deciding on the design for our new jackets. Rookie, when you're done come over and see what we have." He gave the two teenagers what he'd hoped was a reassuring smile, but it left his face the minute he turned around and walked over to the hockey team.

"New jackets," stated Maya as they both watched Dallas leave, "You already look so cute in your old one." She met his brown eyes and forced herself to smile. She managed to hold it for a couple of seconds before it disappeared completely. It was really hard to pretend to be okay with Cam's decision to go back to the team; she could only feel overwhelming disappointment at the thought. "You should go see the new design for the jackets. Since, you're going back to the team so soon."

He watched her for a moment from his seat before standing up from his chair, wrapping his arm around her waist, and pressing his lips against her temple. "You don't seem too excited for me," he whispered. "I know you and Dallas wanted to try to talk me out of it, but I'm going to play. See what happens." He tightened his hold on her waist when she released a strangled sigh.

"What happens," she began. The worst possible scenario entered her mind as she thought about Cam returning to hockey, causing her to shudder and pull away from him. "You should go," she changed the subject, suddenly not interested in talking about hockey. "Lunch is almost over. Zig and I were going to go over some new lyrics for a song, so I should go find him." Maya hadn't even realized that mentioning Zig would be a bad idea, especially considering how the fight between him and Cam was never resolved. She didn't even have time to regret the slip of words before Cam reacted.

"Zig, really? You're worried about hockey setting me off, but you think hanging out with Zig is totally fine?" Cam bit his lip angrily, letting the bitterness he felt towards Maya's old friend seep into his response as he slammed his chair underneath the table and blindly grabbed his backpack. "I hope you two have fun."

Maya clutched the hem of his jacket to stop him, "Zig is my friend, and he is in the band. You're the one who is busy jumping back into hockey so soon after leaving the hospital, and I'm the one who is wrong?" She stared at him, unable to believe how fast this day changed for the worst. She opened her mouth to continue explaining herself but his angry gaze stopped her. All she could do was tap her foot nervously on the ground, waiting for his reply.

He brushed his bangs out of his eyes, trying to calm down. The last thing he wanted to do was say something he would regret, but he couldn't help but feel betrayed and hurt that Maya easily forgave Zig. "I really don't want to talk about Zig," he admitted tiredly. "You already know why I'm not his biggest fan." He stared into her brown eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted. "I should go. I need to go to therapy after lunch."

The achingly, sad expression in his eyes made Maya want to burst into tears. An apology unconsciously left her lips, "I'm sorry I mentioned Zig. I do understand, and I was just as angry as you were after what he said to you. I told him off." She tucked a piece of her curly, blonde hair behind her ear, "He regrets what he said to you. I just hope one day you can hear him out, because he didn't mean it." She grabbed one side of his jacket, stepping closer to kiss him on the cheek. "Anyway, I know you don't want to be talking about this, so I'll stop." She smiled weakly as she pulled away from him. "You should go see those designs. Pick an awesome one."

Without returning her smile, he reached for her hand and clutched it tightly in his own. The gesture was the only thing he could manage at the moment, since his mind was torn from dwelling on the uncomfortable conversation. "I'll text you later. I know you have to practice after school, right?"

Her brows furrowed at the lack of eye contact between them, but she tried to focus on the gentle way he held her hand. "Yeah, I only have a week until my audition, so I'll be needing all the practice I can get." She tugged his hand tenderly, hoping to get him to look at her. "I'll call you later. We can talk more." She waited for him to say something, but he just nodded timidly.

Disappointed by the silence, she decided it would be best to give him some space, but when she tried to back away, his grip on her hand didn't loosen, forcing her to remain in the same spot. "Are you going to head over there?"

To her surprise, Cam responded to her question by closing the distance between them and capturing her lips in a kiss. "Now, I will." he murmured. Maya covered her rapidly blushing cheeks as she watched him walk over to his teammates who, to her embarrassment, had witnessed everything.

She quickly turned around to avoid the stares of the hockey team, immediately heading over to the table where Tristan, Tori, and Zig were involved in an incredibly awkward silence. Noticing the relieved expressions on their faces, Maya couldn't help but wish that they could go back to being as close as they once were. "Hey, guys." She called out before sitting down.

"So," asked an impatient Tristan, "What happened?" He and Tori leant forward in anticipation. Like Maya, they were hoping Dallas could talk Cam out of not joining the team.

She sighed, wishing she had better news. "He's still on the team." Nervously glancing over at Zig, "We almost, kind of had a really bad fight." She raised her hands when Tori and Tristan began to ask questions. "Can we please just come up with an awesome song to make Mo happy. Tori and Tris, you can help too. Zig and I need to come up with something fast for his and Marisol's anniversary party." She gave Zig a desperate look, which he understood right away.

"Yeah," he agreed, "We can all write it together." He smiled nervously at Tori and Tristan who remained quiet for a moment before Tristan interrupted the silence.

"Can there be choreography?" He asked, raising his hand like he was in class.

Zig choked on the juice he was chugging, while Maya genuinely laughed for the first time that day. "Sure, Tris. You and Tori come up with choreography and Zig and I will work on words. "She gave the excited pair an amused look as they gave each other a high five. Before focusing her attention on Zig's opened notebook, Maya snuck a quick peek behind her to see what Cam was up to. The sight of him engrossed in animated conversation with his other teammates made her feel a little more comfortable. It was an oddly normal moment for him, which gave the impression that things could turn out okay, afterall. Catching the eye of a cruelly smirking Trent; however, quickly shot down her moment of optimism. Turning around, she pulled out a pen and began to furiously scribble onto the blank page, ignoring Zig's concerned look. When would any of this become easier?

**A/N: So, trying to write after having your wisdom teeth removed is actually a lot harder than it seems. Go figure. Sorry for the wait! I hope everyone likes this update :) **


	11. Intervention

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing of Degrassi but DVDs! :) **

Maya picked at the fluffy, purple blanket lying on the foot of her bed, every so often glancing at her silent phone, which hasn't buzzed with one single text all afternoon. Sighing in disappointment, Maya flipped the phone over and snuck a glimpse at the bright, red polka dot clock sitting on her white nightstand. 7 o'clock. Her eyes lingered on the framed photo booth pictures that she and Cam took on their first date, before turning around completely to refocus her attention on the blanket. She had been sitting like this for almost an hour since she left the dinner table after successfully dodging her parent's questions about Cam's first day back. Even though they had sort of made up in the cafeteria, she couldn't let go of the feeling of awkwardness between them, especially after she told him that her and Zig were hanging out again. With everything going on, the drama surrounding that situation is the last thing they both need.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on her door, followed by her sister's muffled voice, "Maya? Can I come in?" Katie had now opened the door half way and was looking at Maya for permission to completely enter the room. Maya wasn't surprised by Katie's presence at all—she could feel her sister stare at her the whole car ride home, almost like she knew about what happened between her and Cam.

"Yeah," she uttered quietly, giving Katie a sad smile, which dropped once her gaze returned to the blanket and a tiny Hoot who had been by her side ever since she got home from school. She placed the stuffed owl into her arms and hugged it, while Katie made herself comfortable on the bed.

"So," she started off the sentence with hesitation, not really sure if asking her little sister about her day would be a good idea. But, she had to know what was bothering her. "What happened?" Her eyes, showing both concern and pity, remained on Maya's slouched form.

Not really knowing where to begin, Maya settled on one word, "Cam." After taking off her glasses to wipe a stray tear that fell down her cheek, she kept going. "He's going back to the team."

Katie released a shaky breath, disappointed by her sister's words. It was no secret that she detested the Ice Hounds. "Why? I mean I thought Cam didn't like being on the team." She scoffed, disgust overtaking her as she thought about the team's irritating presence at Degrassi. "Cam doesn't deserve what he has to deal with on a daily basis from them. They are vile and so unlike him." She glanced over at Maya once she noticed the small blonde hug Hoot tighter. Instantly, Katie regretted her words. "I'm sorry, Maya. You already know all of this." She scooted closer and put her hand on her shoulder, "What was his reason for going back to the team?" She watched as her little sister huffed and shook her head angrily. "This stupid guy on the team, Trent Easton. He had been giving Cam a hard time every since he came to Degrassi, and Cam didn't want to let him take his spot. He feels like it would make Trent think that he'd won or something. Like, Cam's worth depends on one loser." She forced the last word out with so much bitterness that shocked Katie. Maya never became hostile; she was usually so calm.

"Alright," consoled Katie, "Calm down, May. Trent Easton is not worth your time. And especially not Cam's. Whatever his reasons are, it seems like Cam has made up his mind. There's not too much that you can do at this point but be supportive of his decision." Her voice became stern with her next words, "Maybe you should try to take some time to focus on yourself. Taking on Cam's issues will drain you. It's not healthy."

Maya felt a sudden spike in her chest, her heart's reaction to Katie's words. "Katie, Cam is my boyfriend. No, more than that…he's one of my best friends, I just can't completely turn away from his problems, especially now that he needs me the most. He almost killed himself. He…" Her throat closed as a feeling of panic arose within her, halting her words.

She felt her sister's hands on her cheeks, "Maya, listen to me. Breathe, Maya please." Despite hearing Katie's pleas loud and clear, Maya couldn't follow her instructions, because it seemed like all of the air was being drawn out of her, leaving her panting desperately. Turning her frightened gaze towards her sister, Maya silently pleaded with Katie to help her.

"Maya," Katie spoke slower, her hands still on Maya's cheeks comfortingly, "Please, take a deep breathe in and out." Katie demonstrated for her and was relieved to see Maya cautiously following her. After a couple of minutes of breathing, Maya released one final sob before laying her head on Katie's lap and closing her eyes in exhaustion. Feeling tears gather in her own eyes, Katie continued to whisper soothing words. "You are okay, Maya. You should get some sleep."

A loud ringing noise filled the room, alerting both girls to a small cell phone that still lay face down on Maya's bed. Reaching over to grab it, Katie turned it over and discovered Cam's name flashing across the screen.

Maya spoke, her voice hoarse from crying. "If it's Cam, please answer it. Tell him that I'm sleeping or playing the cello. Just not the truth, please."

The desperation in her little sister's voice broke her heart, convincing her to quickly answer the call. "Hey, Cam," she greeted pleasantly, transitioning from her previous afflicted tone to a more light-hearted one.

Cam froze when he heard Katie's voice instead of Maya's, immediately thinking the worst. "Hey, Katie. Is Maya okay?"

"Yes," reassured Katie, "Believe it or not she decided to turn in early. She practiced really hard today. But don't worry, you'll see her in school tomorrow, okay?" Katie shut her eyes, hoping that Cam will believe her.

Slowly sitting on his bed, Cam mentally processed Katie words and tried not to jump to conclusions. Maya could really be exhausted. _Or mentally drained because of you. _Pushing the negative thought from his mind, he tried to mask his apprehension. "Yeah, of course. I hope her practice went well. I better go, don't want to bother you." He was about to end the call, but Katie stopped him.

"Wait, Cam." Her voice took on a more gentle tone, "I wanted to let you know that if you ever need anything- even to talk, I'm here. Since you're Maya's boyfriend, I guess by default you can considered a sort of step brother in law," She laughed at the extreme connection she was trying to make. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm here. You and Maya don't have to hesitate to talk to me about anything. Okay?" she smiled at Maya nervously, who to her pleasant surprise, was smiling herself despite the tears that adorned her cheeks.

"Thanks, Katie." Cam broke into a small smile of his own, even if his brother was hundreds of miles away at least he could have some model of an older sibling around. He felt extreme gratitude for the entire Matlin family, like he could never owe them for all that they have done.

"No need to say thanks. Have a good night. Maya will see you tomorrow." After Cam's good-bye, Katie hung up the phone and directed her attention to a still smiling but slightly dozing Maya. "C'mon, May. Let's get you into bed."

With barely open eyes, Maya followed her sister's lead and stood up, quickly crawling into the covers Katie had folded out for her. She could hear a faint buzzing sound, feel Hoot being tucked under her arm, and see Katie put her phone on the end table. Once she allowed her eyes to close, Katie placed a quick kiss on her forehead and tip toed out of the room. Despite the darkness that enveloped the room, the urge to check her phone kept her from completely drifting off, pushing her to grab the phone off the night stand and check the message. Her heart skipped when she saw the familiar name and opened the text. _I love you -Cam._ Not wanting to expose Katie's lie on her behalf, she resisted the temptation to respond, instead clutching the phone against her chest right above her heart. Finally, she could sleep.

**A/N: Originally, this chapter was going to be much longer, but I figured why make you all wait! Thank you so much to those who leave reviews and let me know what you think! :) I hope everyone likes this one! **


	12. Anger Management

**Disclaimer: Degrassi belongs to the original creators. I'm just amusing myself while all of my favorite couples fall apart on the show! No big deal :p**

Maya sighed as she slowly placed her books in her locker, preparing for the full day of classes ahead of her. Her current bad mood felt fitting for the particular cold, gloomy, and rainy day in Toronto—if there was one thing Maya hated, it was the rain. Maybe it was due to the uncomfortable feeling of being soaked in your once dry clothes, the way puddles would splash against her leg once she unknowingly stepped into a deceitful deep one, or the fact that her umbrellas always broke after a little while of using them. But Maya knew that the primary reason above all the others involved the sad tone rain brings to a day. The consistent flow of rain reminded her of tears and sadness, both of which had been following her around since Cam's suicide attempt. Maya chuckled humorlessly as she tried to desperately push any thoughts about _it _out of her mind; she sort of succeeded by managing to focus on violently pushing her books into her locker, creating tons of noise that attracted the rest of the students walking down the halls. Their whispers didn't bother her though-she had enough problems to deal with. Her frustrating thoughts halted once she noticed a hand grip her open locker, the person it belonged to appearing from behind the door with incredibly concerned eyes.

She wiped her eyes and played with her ponytail, pretty much anything to distract Cam from seeing her upset. Putting her own hand on the locker, she met his gaze and spoke softly. "Hey." Her forced smile didn't put Cam's mind at ease at all. All he could do was stare at her, his eyes surveying every part of her face before settling on her eyes. "How are you feeling?" he took a step closer, hesitating before lifting his hand to swipe her cheek gently.

Maya closed her eyes at the contact, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. No matter how long they are together, she really didn't think the feeling would ever go away when he touched her. "I'm alright," she replied smoothly, really trying to convince him of her words. "I practiced the cello for like three hours straight…I was exhausted. I just had to go to bed right after dinner. My mind just couldn't take it anymore." Quickly thinking of something comforting to say, Maya smiled when she tried to make a joke. "The notes were literally dancing on the page. Break dancing, doing the salsa…whatever. They just couldn't stop moving. Started making me feel dizzy." Laughing lightly, Maya faced her locker and hoped she didn't completely embarrass herself.

Despite the severity of the situation and his own struggling mood, Cam couldn't resist the snort that came out of his mouth. He cleared his throat, quickly covering it up and met Maya's eyes again, his heart feeling at ease when he saw the simple smile on her face.

"I appreciate you liking my jokes you know," she spoke while choosing a book for her next class and turned around quickly surprising both herself and Cam for the quick kiss she gave him.

With a faint blush appearing on his face, he replied instantly. "Anytime." The statement was simple but both teenagers knew better than to take it at surface value—it sounded more like an earnest promise, a positive lifesaver to hold onto during the difficult and sometimes hopeless situation they found themselves in.

Taking a step back to briefly check her locker, she decided to bring up the conversation neither of them wanted to have. "You have practice today?" She really tried to deliver those words as nonchalantly as possible, but her true feelings about the situation tinged them with a sad and straining quality.

Not wanting to lie, Cam shrugged his shoulders and grudgingly confirmed her question. "Yeah, I do." His eyes lingered on her still frame, expecting a negative reaction, but Maya surprised him.

"Okay, I have practice too. I have to do the same routine with the cello." Her gaze never left the locker as she spoke. An outsider would interpret the simple action to be Maya's way of casually telling Cam of her afternoon plans, but it was the furthest thing from it. She knew the words that left her mouth were a lie—she wanted Cam to think she was home playing the cello when in fact she would be at the rink watching him. Witnessing Cam's first practice back could be a really great way to calm her nerves about the situation or just be a monumental disaster. Maya was ready for both possibilities.

Maybe it was the fact that they had been dating for several months now, but Cam could see right through her. He didn't exactly know what was wrong, which was clear when his eyes flickered to her covered arm, immediately assuming something that had been causing him anxiety lately.

Maya felt his hand grab her arm, firmly pushing her owl-covered sleeve up to expose her forearm. Carefully running his free hand across it, Cam sighed in relief when he didn't see any scars.

"Cam?" inquired Maya almost desperately. She had an idea of why he was inspecting her arm, but it made her feel sick. "I didn't do anything to myself, okay? I practiced my cello, which really helped me take my mind off of things." She waited patiently for Cam to drop her arm and look her in the eye.

"I just thought…I'm sorry," he turned his gaze to the floor with a feeling of shame weighing down on him. He felt Maya's hand grab his chin, tilting his head up. She opened her mouth to express her understanding, but the loud bell frightened the two teens and forced them apart.

Maya silently cursed the bell as she watched Cam glance behind her nervously. "I better get to homeroom. I'll see you in French?" He waited for Maya to confirm his question with a small nod and then leaned in to give her a gentle kiss. She didn't watch him walk down the hall; instead, choosing to shut her locker and press her forehead against the cool metal. She wondered if watching Cam's practice would really be the best idea…

ooooooooooooooooo

Despite any doubts Maya possessed, she still made her way to Degrassi's new ice rink after school. Her movements were extremely careful, almost stealth like as she tip toed through the door and sat on the first bench at the top of the rink's tiered seating. The seat was perfect for watching Cam without any chance of being spotted by a member of the team. Once settled, her brown eyes shifted back and forth between the frantic skating of the players; she found Cam's number and followed it faithfully, making sure to catch every movement. For the first five minutes of being a spectator, Maya began to feel silly for spying on the practice in the first place. After all, the sight in front of her simply consisted of numerous hockey players hitting a puck from one side of the rink to the other—Cam leading of course—but nothing special aside from that.

Maya almost left before the real action began, which thankfully and not so thankfully, she witnessed. It started off innocently enough—the coach blowing his whistle and calling Trent's name, Trent skating toward Cam, the sound of the whistle to begin the practice again, and finally Cam slamming Trent against the wall. Taking off her glasses, Maya rubbed her eyes and blinked a couple times to make sure she correctly saw what just happened. If the team and the coaches prying the two shouting boys apart was any indication, then Maya could definitely be sure that she didn't need a new prescription.

Shocked and frightened, Maya viewed the hectic scene without moving an inch until Cam roughly freed himself from Mike and Owen's grip and abruptly skated toward the exit—it was her signal to move as fast as she could down the stairs, around the rows of bleachers, and through the left side of the rink towards the locker room.

Seeing the flash of a petite blonde hurrying towards the locker room kept any member of the team from following, so it left Maya and Cam alone. Panting heavily, Maya crossed the threshold in time to see Cam throw his helmet against the lockers followed by a punch that left a deep dent behind. All she could do was cover her mouth in horror and watch as Cam became increasingly more violent, hitting anything in plain sight. His behavior influenced her decision to keep her distance as she began to plead with him. "Cam, stop!"

Rapidly twisting around to face her, Cam couldn't rein his anger in before speaking to her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

With wide eyes, Maya shook her head in disbelief at the tone he was using with her. _He's just frustrated. This isn't him._ Chanting the thought continuously helped Maya gain the strength to face this conversation. "Apparently, I'm watching you have a complete meltdown. What are you thinking?" Her voice rose dangerously, surprising Cam slightly.

His breathing began to slowly return to a healthy pace, but his temper remained the same. "You don't even know what happened out there, so don't come in here to judge me." The harsh words fell out of his mouth rapidly, his feet following the quick pace until he stopped inches away from Maya's face. "This is how I'm choosing to deal with this situation, so if you don't mind I want to continue without an audience. "The leftover adrenaline from the fight with Trent crept into every word and kept him from realizing exactly whom he was talking to.

His sarcasm hit her like acid, leaving her resentful of the boy in front of her. Before she could process her actions, Maya pushed Cam backwards and maneuvered herself quickly around him while he caught his balance. A loud bang behind her caused her to quicken her pace toward an empty bench. When silence finally settled between them, Maya bravely turned around to catch a glimpse of Cam's hunched figure against the lockers. She stared at the way his back rapidly rose and fell for a long time, taking her own time to calm down and process what just happened. Neither of them spoke for a while until Cam turned around and timidly walked toward the bench where a dazed Maya sat. He flinched when she scooted over to avoid being too close to him, but he sat down anyway. When Maya made no effort to speak, Cam pulled one sleeve of his hockey jersey up, grasping the rubber band that adorned his wrist with his free hand and began pulling it. His pace was steady and mechanic; it was the only thing he could do to release his current distress without raising his voice again.

The consistent sharp, snapping sounds alerted Maya to glance at Cam; she was incredibly cautious around him at first, but when she noticed what Cam was doing to himself, she couldn't resist covering the hand that tugged at the rubber band. His motions paused, causing a labored sigh to leave Maya's lips. She rubbed the spot on his wrist before moving her hand up to latch onto his. Both had turned their faces forward and sat quietly—the only sign of a communication between the two were their connected hands.

Helpless and unsure, Maya tentatively murmured her words. "You scared me."

Cam closed his eyes as he sadly agreed with her. "I know." Due to the regret that settled upon him, a heavy burdensome feeling, he could only offer a simple apology. "I'm sorry."

Releasing her hand from his, Maya placed both hands on the edge of the bench and leaned over. "I know that you probably don't want to talk about it right now and that's fine. I think you need time to cool off. But, we are going to eventually, okay?"

He managed to nod slowly, braving a quick glance in her direction, which turned into a more permanent eye lock between the two of them. He didn't tear his eyes away from her once as she spoke.

"I'm not leaving this locker room without you." Her eyes begged him to agree; she knew if they didn't leave together Cam would do something to hurt himself.

His eyes lingered on hers for a minute before he stood up and wordlessly packed up his things. After his behavior, he owed her this much.

"I'll be right outside this door when you're ready." She stood up, slowly walked towards the back door of the locker room, and looked at him one last time before disappearing. Once she was gone, Cam didn't hesitate to start changing. His mind raced as he put all of his gear into his locker; he felt numb and disappointed in himself. He lost control the same way he had lost it with Zig that day of the Degrassi games, and the thought of possessing no control over his next burst of rage terrified him. He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a light knock from the other side of the door. Grabbing his bag and jacket, he didn't look back as he walked out of the locker room.

His eyes flickered in Maya's direction before focusing on the floor. Maya carefully wrapped her arm around his free one, leading him down the hallway and into the foyer where they would wait for his mom to pick him up. No words were spoken between them.

**A/N: Ooh. I know—that was a little intense, but I thought the drama would wake you all up a bit lol. Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading and reviewing! **


	13. Nothing Is What It Seems

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

"What's on your mind?" The slightly balding, middle-aged man questioned Cam kindly, his hand hovering over a fresh new page of a notebook filled with notes of Cam's sessions.

Meeting the psychologist's eyes briefly, Cam settled his gaze on the notebook that he desperately wished he could read. Maybe getting a glimpse of it would help him understand what's wrong with him—if that was even possible, considering how monumentally screwed up he felt. Channeling his frustration into words, Cam began to stutter nervously. "I …um." He paused to look at the whimsical cat clock adorning the simple office—only five minutes of the session had passed so far. Taking time to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, Cam frantically begged himself to be honest about what happened earlier today. The words that left his mouth didn't really do what happened justice, but it was a start. "I lost control of my temper with someone I really care about." He began to fiddle with his hands as his voice softened with his next words, "My girlfriend."

The psychologist offered him a nod of understanding before quickly scribbling down a few words into the notebook. "Maya," he stated kindly, "We've discussed her quite a lot. If I remember correctly, she is one of your biggest support systems and from what you have described about her I don't think you have anything to worry about."

Cam understood that Dr. Wilton was trying to help him feel better, and even though he appreciated the gesture greatly, he couldn't allow himself to believe the comforting words. "Some part of her may understand and not hold what happened against me, but how many times can this happen before she gives up and leaves me? She doesn't deserve any of this." Saying the words aloud made him feel a thousand times worse—probably because vocalizing them makes the thoughts frighteningly real.

Dr. Wilton put his pen down to address Cam. "Worrying about whether your struggles will drive those close to you away is a futile effort, Cam. You have a genuine medical condition that is no way your fault. It just takes time, patience, and care to cope with it. All you can do is keep moving on, no matter the setback. When you feel despair allow yourself time to deal with the strong emotions until they subside. Look at you now—the feelings that drove you to try to commit suicide are no longer as extreme; they calmed down and eventually with the medication, counseling, and time you will be able to manage your moods in a much better way. It can only get better. Remember that."

The doctor's sincere words eased Cam's uncertainty, allowing him for the first time that day to truly believe that everything was not falling apart. He just wishes that he could experience these moments more often, instead of the depressing, bitter thoughts that invaded his mind. Time would be the only thing to help. Cam just wanted time to go faster…

0000

While Cam dealt with therapy, Maya sat alone in the middle of a crowded Dot taking turns drinking and staring at her vanilla bean frappucino. She didn't even drink coffee, but after what happened with Cam, she had no problem starting now. She sighed deeply and slouched in her seat, letting her thoughts drift to Cam. They didn't speak to each other after the blow out in the locker room, choosing instead to awkwardly wait in silence for Cam's mom to give him a ride to therapy. It was hard to find something to say when all she could feel was hurt, frustration, and fatigue. She never expected Cam to magically recover after his suicide attempt, but she really never realized how difficult the effort to cope with his mental health would be. In that moment, her eyes fell on the laughing couple that just entered the Dot hand in hand. Eli and Clare couldn't keep the smiles off their faces as they continued to chat happily and survey the menu. Maya watched them in both awe and envy at how carefree they could be. While she became acquaintances with both Clare and Eli through Tristan's involvement with Romeo and Jules, she still didn't quite know too much about either of them as individuals or as a couple. Most of what she did know was gossip through Tristan and Tori, and the majority of it she really didn't want to believe. How could the pair be standing before so happily now if at one point in time Eli crashed his car just to prove his love for Clare? It just didn't seem possible. But then again, no one would look at her or Cam and predict that they were dealing with the issues of suicide and depression as a couple—more like dealing with the dorky, awkward first time couple issues, which they still were and probably always will be. She kept her eyes focused on the pair, speculating about their history until a pair of bright, blue eyes met hers. Maya froze, quickly grabbing her frappucino and refocusing her gaze on the window in hopes of avoiding Clare's eyes.

Clare caught the shy blonde looking at her and Eli curiously, and was about to wave but quickly chose not to once Maya quickly broke eye contact. Frowning, Clare faced Eli who held out her herbal tea, while wearing his own confused expression. "What's with the long face blue eyes? You were just laughing at my hilarious joke a minute ago."

Taking the tea from his hand, Clare rolled her eyes. "Ego much, Goldsworthy?" She shook her head playfully at him before falling into a serious expression. "I just saw Maya looking at us and tried to wave, but she turned away before I could." Clare reached for Eli's hand and tugged it gently, "We should go say hi, Eli. She's been having a rough time—I've been meaning to talk to her for a while now."

Eli's adopted a similar expression as Clare once the severity of her words hit him. He like the rest of the school couldn't forget about Cam's suicide attempt and he especially could relate considering his own mental health issues. Nodding softly, Eli smiled gently at her as he squeezed her hand that gripped his affectionately. "You want to give advice to the next generation of Eli and Clare's?" He grinned playfully, trying to ease the tension of the situation.

"If you mean couples who have gone through hell and back together and remain in one piece then yes. We made it through. They are no different, right?" Her words lingered between the two of them as they took a moment to gaze into each other's eyes, both experiencing painful flashbacks of some troubling moments in their history together. Neither liked to dwell too much on their past struggles, but it was impossible to forget them altogether.

Wanting to rid his thoughts of the haunting memories of his own mental breakdown, Eli stepped closer to Clare and kissed her gently. "Let's go say hi then, eh?"

His kiss warded off the bleak memories and brought her back to the much happier, stable present—something that she thanked God every day for.

Smiling once more at each other, the couple began to make their way over to Maya's table where they found a visibly agitated Maya. Clare noted the dark circles lining the blonde's seemingly tired eyes, and she felt a wave of sympathy for the girl. It's like she was looking into a mirror. "Hey Maya," she greeted.

Snapping out of her trance, Maya turned to find Eli and Clare smiling at her. "Hi," replied a slightly nervous Maya. She wasn't sure why the upperclassmen were acknowledging her.

"Mind if we sit?" Asked Eli. Once Maya nodded, both Clare and Eli pulled out two chairs and settled into their seats. Clare immediately spoke. "Listen Maya, I hope this isn't weird of me, but I've been wanting to see how you've been doing for a while now." Clare hesitated, unable to find the right way to bring up Cam.

Maya noticed her struggle and helped, "About Cam." It wasn't a question.

Eli jumped into the conversation, "We wanted to see how you both were doing. I've been there, Maya. I understand where Cam is coming from." He smiled sadly, his eyes suddenly drifting off as his thoughts lead him to an unhappier place in his life.

Maya quietly acknowledged Eli's expression with curiosity and familiarity—she saw the same look on Cam's face so many times. Something in her snapped, "You two went through a similar situation right?" The words were out of her mouth before she could even process them, leaving her embarrassed. "I'm so sorry," apologized Maya, "I didn't mean to…"

Clare signaled Maya to stop, "It's okay. Really Maya."

She placed her hand on top of Eli's arm, prompting him to speak up. "I'm dealing with bipolar disorder, and I put this girl through a lot of pain before and after being diagnosed. No matter how bad things may seem…it only gets better." He nodded encouragingly at Maya, simultaneously trying to reassure himself of the words.

Maya's immense gratitude for his words and the comforting presence of the couple inspired her to confess her troubles to them. "Cam and I had a huge fight today. He lost his temper, and he…" She met the worried gazes of both Clare and Eli before finishing, "…scared me. It's killing me to see him like this. How did you two deal?"

Taking a moment to search for the right words, Clare voiced her advice to the scared girl sitting across from her. "It's always important to be healthy. Maintaining a distance when the time is right helped me and Eli." Clare felt Eli grip her hand harder at the memory of them breaking up. "You should encourage him to find professional help and remain optimistic about his recovery. It doesn't happen in an instant or easily, and things never disappear—it just defines you as a couple. How you deal with it and help each other."

Clare's words soothed Maya's torn heart. "I really needed to heart that," she confessed quietly. "Thank you."

Clare and Eli smiled. "Anything you need," Eli offered, "We're here. Tell Cam too, okay?"

Maya eagerly accepted the offer, "I definitely will, thanks guys."

Clare and Eli offered Maya another bright smile before saying their goodbyes. Watching them leave, Maya realized that despite the struggles they dealt with, they were still a normal couple. It gave her hope.

**A/N: I know….I'm soooo sorry! My life has gotten so crazy, and it's been very hard for me to update. However, I'm still here, and I hope you all like this chapter! I had to include some Eclare, because I adore them! BTW did you all see the latest Degrassi…why? I'll just leave it at that. Plus, I can't believe they are not bringing Tori back for the new season, choosing instead to introduce a bunch of new characters whom we don't know or care about. You never know who is going to disappear into oblivion on that show, and it's so frustrating! Remember Kendra? Lol Anyway, thanks for reading! :)**


End file.
